Take a Nothing Day...Make it All Worthwhile.

I'm Trying to Be a Big Loser

2012-01-31T19:44:00.000-07:00

Yes. You did read that correctly.
I am trying to be a big loser.
But not on T.V.

I joined a "Biggest Loser" competition with my friend/roommate/colleague (yeah, we see a lot of each other) at our community gym.

I am enjoying the motivation for the most part, though I realize why I have never done anything like this before. I HATE counting calories. Seriously hate it.

I love working out and having an excuse to make exercise a priority in my life. I even love getting my trash kicked at group workouts. I love running with music and I love lifting weights with friends. But I HATE counting calories.

My food beliefs are strong and pointed, though I don't always live up to them as much as I want to. I believe in eating whole foods as much as possible. I believe processed foods are dangerous. I believe it is important to eat foods high in nutrients in order to take those nutrients and vitamins in naturally. I believe in eating very small amounts of meat and fats. I believe if we eat this way, our bodies know what we need and how much we need. Overall, I believe in healthy living and healthy eating. Perhaps this is the reason I hate counting every stinkin' calorie I touch.

I know that I haven't always listened to my body to know what I need to eat, how much, etc., but I don't believe that denying myself all foods I like is the answer either. I like a cupcake now and again. I like a piece of chocolate every day. I like ice cream on occaision. And I hate feeling guilty for wanting to have the things I like once in a while.

I have done a lot of different methods of trying to be healthier, and lose weight, and it always comes down to a lifestyle change that incorporates physical, emotional, nutritional, and spiritual health. Always. So refusing to eat sugar for a month doesn't cut it for me. And every personal trainer, weight loss competition, gym rat, weight loss program, skinny person, etc. always tells me I am overweight because I haven't denied myself those kinds of foods.

In the end, if having a perfect body means denying myself all the things that make life so enjoyable, I'd rather stay imperfect.

Who Do You Think You Are?

2012-01-18T18:35:00.000-07:00

"Human identity is the most fragile thing that we have, and it's often only found in moments of truth." --Alan Rudolph

^Seriously? Who do you think you are?

Have you ever asked yourself that question?
Have you ever stopped and really thought about the answer?

For so much of our lives we struggle along trying to discover our own identities, trying to determine our destiny, trying to become someone we know we are.

And yet, we are someone different to every person.

We are, essentially, what others believe us to be.

To my parents, I am their second-born. Their independent, out-spoken, responsible, politically incorrect, academic, stubborn, driven, hard-headed, argumentative, dreaming, second-born.

To my colleagues, I am an educator. I am an ambitious, creative, opinionated, hard-working, knowledgeable, serious, focused, acheiving, out-going, educator.

To my close friends, I am a confidant. I am a logical, reserved, adventurous, tender-hearted, straightforward, experienced, laughing, cultured, goofy, giggly, confidant.

To every person, I am someone different.

So who do I think I am?

In every way, I get to decide who I think I am. But that does not get to determine who other people think I am. Reconciling the two things is a nearly impossible challenge.

Our own contrived identity is a fragile and vulnerable thing. We may see ourselves so differently than others see us. We may feel that the labels we have are really our most sensitive projections of ourselves. We may even divulge these labels and vulnerabilities in an attempt to identify with ourselves.

Whether others find us beautiful, ugly, boring, fat, captivating, loud, boring, shy, friendly, flawless, arrogant, or good, doesn't really matter to our souls. It may matter to us now. It may be who we are to another human being, but it doesn't really matter to our souls. Its like the old playground verse: "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words [labels] will never hurt me."   In this case, labels will neither hurt, nor help me understand my soul if they are all I hear.

I'd like to believe that the labels are not really who I am, but rather, part of what my soul believes I have always been. I'd like to believe that deep down inside my life, I am really a soul who is struggling to be the best I can in this mortal experience, no matter the labels I earn and receive. In the end, only one identity really matters: the identity of our own soul.

So again I ask, who do you think you are?

Through it all...

2012-01-10T18:59:00.000-07:00

Anyone acquainted with my situation at school this year would probably tell you that I am good at complaining about it. That is definitely a regret I have, mostly because of a few different things:

Everyone has been extremely helpful and concerned for me
The kindness and service people have offered me has been outstanding
I've learned a lot throughout these lovely trials.

Its easy to spout off about cliches and "morals" people can learn, but its not as easy to live them. Sometimes throughout this stressful school year I have thought "Gosh, I wish I could just take this in stride like everyone seems to think I should." However, that is much easier to say if you aren't dealing with the negative affects of a situation.

My situation has been, shall we say, a loss of privilege.
I haven't had to deal with too many truly awful things.
Instead, I have been dealing with the absence of a resource that is particularly useful, and that all the others at my school get to have.

I say it is a loss of privilege because in other schools, this resource is often non-existant anyway. However, at my school, it is one of the benefits and is a huge help in meeting the high expectations held for teachers.

I can't say I have felt "oh-well-this-is-just-a-lucky-benefit" much throughout this year, mostly because with this resource we are held to a very high standard. Having that extra privilege gives us the only real advantage in being able to achieve that expectation.

Through it all, I haven't had the best of attitudes, but I am certainly grateful for the things I have learned. I am truly humbled by the number of people who have genuinely shown concern for me and my daily situation. I am overwhelmed by the sheer amount of strangers and acquaintances at work who have offered so much of their time and service to help me. I am forever grateful for the strength, flexibility, and change in perspective I have gained through all of this.

I can't believe I am saying it, but this loss in my life has been an incredible learning experience.

Now, I am happy to have learned what I have learned and I would be more than happy for this trying time to end! ;) That's how it works, right?

11 in '11 Linky Party

2011-12-30T05:48:00.007-07:00

I'm linking up with a bunch of my favorite bloggers (some of whom I often blog stalk) and Hadar and Kristen, for their 11 in '11 Linky Party!

This is a fun little way to re-cap 2011 as it is obligatory and necessary in this blogging realm. I like doing the cliche lists of things I liked, but this is a fun way to read about a lot of people's favorites and such from 2011.

Here we go: My 11 in '11

11. Favorite movie you watched:

Defintely "The Help." This was the best movie I've seen in a really long time! Loved the book, loved the movie, loved the story, loved it all!

10. Favorite TV series:

Hmmm...I think I would have to say "Pretty Little Liars." I'm a sucker for cheesy ABC family type stuff.

This one has been my favorite since earlier in 2011.

My most recent 2011 favorite is probably "Pan Am" or "Parenthood"

9. Favorite restaurant:

Tricky...I like lots of little local places including Sawadee Thai Restaurant, The Blue Plate Diner, and The Communal.

8. Favorite new thing you tried:

Collaging! I have always loved art but I never found an area of art I was very talented in. Collaging has been a new experience for me but I really love it! Thanks to Melody at Brave Girls Club, I found a talent and passion in collaging from my heart.

7. Favorite gift you got:

I've been loving this great hat my roommate gave me, and I am definitely a fan ofthe money I've been able to put toward my Cambodia/Thailand trip! Plus, I got these fabulous pecans from my New Mexico best friend and they are divine!!!

6. Favorite thing you pinned:

I've only been on pinterest for a little while and I am not a huge pinning addict, but I do enjoy the neat ideas I've seen. I think I will say this is my favorite since it and others like it brought me a new business venture with dear friends.

5. Favorite blog post:

Probably this one. It is hard to pick, but only because each post reminds me of the things I was feeling or thinking at a particular time in the year. I like looking back and seeing where I was, where I am now, how I've changed, how life has worked out.

4. Best accomplishment:

Professionally: Finishing my Reading Endorsement graduate coursework.

Personally: Learning to run and love it.

3. Favorite picture:

Ooooh...I obviously don't do "favorites" very well because I always have so many favorites! Here are my top 3 favorite pictures from this year:

I love this one because it is my family after 3 years of not seeing each other. 3 years is a long time and in June of 2011 we all reunited and took a few family shots. It was nice being home with all my sisters and my parents again. It was great to see my niece and nephew and brother-in-law. I love when I get to be with my family!

I love this one because it represents a lot of things. I got to go to Mexico and use my Spanish after many years of it laying dormant. This was my only international trip in 2011! I got to see a wonderful old friend! I got to spend some time away for Spring Break, when time away was desperately needed.

I love this one because it reminds me of the amazing and good people I always have around me. Though this picture doesn't have all my best friends in it, it represents so many of them. After all these years, we still get together to spend time in the activities we love most. We reconvene at the Eastern Idaho State Fair to get our huge cotton candy sticks and relive our glory days together. I love everything about that.

2. Favorite memory:
There are so many memories in a year but I think my favorites would include my trip to Mexico and my trip home to Kentucky.

1. Goals for 2012:
Professionally: Find and apply for a graduate program to pursue. Grow as a teacher.
Personally: Learn more about collaging. Travel more. Visit old friends. Relearn my languages.
Spiritually: Read scriptures and pray every day. Develop more charity. Trust the Lord more.

Remember how I feel old?

2011-12-27T17:39:00.000-07:00

Babies babies babies everywhere!
I swear, everyone in my life is either pregnant, is having babies, or is talking about their babies!
All around me, babies!
I am so happy for all my friends who are having their sweet little babies...I really am!
I love that so many of my friends get to be moms. I love that so many of my friends get to be dads.
I love that so many good people are having babies and becoming parents.
I can't think of better people to be having families and raising children. How lucky this world is that so many amazing people are choosing to be parents! How happy it makes me for those sweet little children to be blessed by such fabulous people as their parents! How glad I am that these people are sacraficing for something greater than what the world says they should do!
I'm truly so excited for them!

I'm just not sure how I am supposed to see my life in comparison.
Because though I hate comparing, it is so easy to do, so seemingly appropriate.
I'm hundreds of millions of miles away from having babies.
I'm not even sure babies are in my future...who knows what the future holds?
My life is so different from so many of my friends these days and it makes me feel a little...weird, old, left behind, on the wrong path, frustrated, discontent, and defiant.
Being my age and single is not the easiest thing in the world, but sometimes I think it is not so bad.
Sometimes I think it sucks. Big time.
Sometimes I think I like it, a lot. More than the alternative.
Sometimes I don't really care either way.

Life sure is crazy.
Figuring it out is even stranger.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T08:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Anything-But-Now-Year Old Me

2011-12-23T00:03:00.001-07:00

Have you see that PSA about cancer?

Well, it has nothing to do with this post except that it was the only title I could come up with for what I do have to say today. It has a great message though, so watch it sometime.

Lately I have been feeling...old.

Old, boring, unfashionable, un-fun, stuck, lost.

A little.

I don't know why...maybe hanging out with my younger sisters, reading fashion magazines, or listening to the radio...but I feel this way.

When did I get too old for the crazy fashions like boots folded over with leg warmers and grunge hair?

When did I get too boring for spur-of-the-moment ideas like bowling at 2 am?

When did I get so un-fun that the kids just younger than me see me as an old maid?

When did I lose my adventuresome, high-spirited, zest for trying new things?

And when did I begin to realize that I am stuck in a life I didn't exactly choose, nor do I exactly want?

Hrummpff.

I think if I could do things over again, I would choose to grow up a little more slowly. I think I'd bask in having to depend on my parents for rides. I'd spend my money a little more frivolously on new CDs or shoes. I'd definitely spend more time in college and I'd even probably relish the chances I had to party at 3 am with strangers.

Okay, well that last one still happens at my house about once a month, but still.

I want to feel young and crazy again.

I'm not really so old. Just sorta out of touch.

And a little old.

I am beginning to understand why people seek the fountain of youth.

Kids...

2011-12-20T22:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday one of my students told me something I found funny.
And probably pretty telling.

She said, "You. You are annoying. And those kids (pointing to the class) are hil-ar-ious. Yep."

Good to know.

Kids tell the truth, right? And this one especially does.

I guess it is good to have someone point these things out. At least now I don't have to wonder what they think of me!

2011-12-14T20:14:00.000-07:00

I find this poem so incredibly beautiful.
It was created by my good friend Elyse Brazel.
I am lucky to know her and her supreme talent.
The exquisite and straightforward beauty from her words inspire me.

Enjoy.

Influenced

2011-12-11T22:23:00.000-07:00

Today I am amazed at all the wonderful people in my life.
I have been blessed with amazing family, friends, mentors, and colleagues.
Sometimes I can't believe how very wonderful these people are.
I know some incredible people!
I stand amazed at the wonderful things all these people have accomplished, and I hope to someday be like them.

I hope to be a mom like the good parents I know.
I hope to teach and train like the impactful mentors I've had.
I hope to be as kind and fun and good as the friends I keep company with.
I hope to work as hard and be as dedicated as the colleagues I spend my days with.
I hope to grow and learn as those around me teach me to.
I hope to pray as fervently as I've felt others pray.
I hope to care as perfectly as I've felt friends care for me.
I hope to love as deeply as I've seen others love.

I hope to be the person I have opportunity to be because of the good people I know.

Up To Here.

2011-11-30T19:20:00.000-07:00

Lately I feel like I have had a lot of days where I have been "up to here" with my life.

So much seems to go wrong that it is more often wrong than right.

This season of the year has a way of reminding me that even when my life is genuinely difficult, and I genuinely have reasons to be frustrated and angry, my life just isn't that bad.

At a Thanksgiving dinner party that I attended we were asked to say what we are grateful for.

My response was, and still is, what I am telling myself every moment of each day.

"I am thankful for the things that go right."

I have so much more than I remember sometimes. I am blessed in more ways than I can count. I am living a life some people would die for.

The things that go wrong in my life are valid, frustrating, difficult, and painful. But they shouldn't be the focus of my life. Those are the things I am learning from...even when it is hard.

Thank goodness for the good people I'm meeting, the helpful experiences I'm having, the education I'm receiving, the strength I'm growing, and the blessings I am partaking of when I go through hard things.

Keep calm and carry on, right?

Thanksgiving

2011-11-27T21:01:00.000-07:00

Mmmm....
What a wonderful break I've had!
I love Thanksgiving.
It is my favorite holiday, especially of the winter holidays, and this year's was a really good one.

My sisters and some friends came out to my house and we had a blast!
We cooked. Boy did we cook!
We ate, we talked, we played games, we laughed.
It was cozy, comfortable, and calm.
(Like that alliteration?)

Julie and I agreed. This was one of the best meals we have prepared together. We believe in doing things traditionally with a few twists here and there. It was YUMMY!
We are also of the opinion that things should be made from scratch. So...with the exception of the stuffing and cranberry sauce, we made everything from whole foods, from scratch, and by hand:

Herb roasted turkey and herbed sage gravy
Stuffing (cornbread and herb stuffing)
Creamy mashed potatoes
Mashed sweet potato streusel casserole
Sauteed brussel sprouts
Wheat rolls
Raspberry Pretzel Jello
Parsnip Pudding
Pies & whipped cream

Pumpkin (from a pumpkin, not a can!)
Peach
Berry Rhubarb

(The links aren't the exact recipes we used, mostly because we do a lot of hybriding, and making up our own recipes, but they are close).
I'm totally kicking myself for not taking pictures, but believe me, it was GOOD!

Everything was delicious and we had lots of leftovers (my favorite part!).
The best part was having friends and family to eat with and share the day with. We love to cook, but it is even better to have someone to share it with.
I have so much to be grateful for and I am so glad we have this special day to celebrate our blessings. I hope only to be able to share my blessings with others so they might know of the same joy I feel so lucky to have in my life.

And now, bring on the Christmas music!

Humbled

2011-11-19T22:23:00.001-07:00

“When you walk with gratitude, you do not walk with arrogance and conceit and egotism, you walk with a spirit of thanksgiving that is becoming to you and will bless your lives." --Gordon B. Hinckley

As I sat around the table with some friends this past week, I was called on to say what I am thankful for.
We always play this game when my roommate is around, and I tease her about it, but I secretly love it.

I have been dealing with some crazy stuff lately and it seems to go on and on and on, but I have had reason to pause and be grateful. The more I learn about this world, the more I study my place in it, the more humbled I feel about the life I have been blessed to lead. No matter the "hard" things I have to go through.
All the hard things, as tough as they may feel, are really blessings in disguise.

Its cliche, but I love to write down my big list of "thankfuls."

In no particular order, and by no means an exhaustive list:

I am thankful for...
-Ample food, clothing, shelter, and basics.
-Luxuries far beyond what I deserve.
-A job that keeps me on my toes in all kinds of ways.
-A big beautiful family who loves me.
-Citizenship in a country that doesn't do things perfectly, but provides freedoms, liberties, and responsibilities found in abundance.
-The friends I have been blessed to know and have. There are so many.
-Good people who remind me of the kind of person I want to become.
-An education that continues to expand as my life goes on.
-Hardships, trials, lost love, broken hearts, disappointments, dark days, and frustrations. Because without them, I wouldn't be as strong as I am today.
-The chance to travel and see the world from so many perspectives.
-Opportunities to fulfill the longings of my heart and soul in humanitarian work.
-My parents' guidance and training in my life.
-Art, dance, and music.
-Modern technology.
-My sisters' friendships.
-The ability to feel so deeply and love so passionately.
-Personality traits that have kept me going in my life's work: perseverance, independence, straightforwardness, creativity, and steadfastness (which also means stubbornness).
-A really good memory.
-Books

When I really stop to consider the blessings I have been given, I am truly humbled and deeply touched by the love I have been shown. I know I don't deserve these blessings any more than so many others, and yet I have been given these opportunities and blessings anyway. I want to live up to the blessings I have been given, "For unto whomsoever^cmuch is ^dgiven, of him shall be much ^erequired..."

Salt of the Earth

2011-11-15T21:23:00.000-07:00

Today I spent the whole day with my extended family.
This is strange because I rarely spend time with my extended family, especially without my immediate family.
One of the few great things about funerals is that people in my family get together.

I realized today, something I often forget.
I come from good stock.

The people I am blessed to have in my family are "salt of the earth" kind of people, as we always say in my house.
As I looked around during the family prayer, I saw people I know well and people I hardly know.
But what I really saw were beautiful souls.

Though there are a lot of people in my family whom the world would not call beautiful (that must be the part of the heritage I got too), they are actually some of the most beautiful people I know.
Most of them are not skinny, stylish, or perfect-looking.
Most of them are strong, large, farmer types. Some are even "homespun" looking.

But beauty really is deeper than our outsides.

Those people are so many things:
good, kind-hearted, loving, family-oriented, helpful, smart, spiritual, friendly, talented people.

Beauty is on our outsides, our insides, our projections, our actions, our words, our lives.
I've seen beauty.
My family members show it.

Happy Fall Y'all!

2011-10-30T23:32:00.000-06:00

Fall weather really is the best.
I love summer so much and love being able to take advantage of the sun, but I always love a beautiful autumn! This year is the first year since I have lived in Utah that I have experienced a true fall here. The leaves have changed colors, the days have been warm, the nights have been chilly, the harvest has continued on, and the events of the season have not been dampered by early snow.
I love fall. I love how it makes me feel. I love that I get a chance to ease out of summer and look forward to sweaters and boots and leg warmers again.
Winter wouldn't be so bad if we could just always have a lovely fall!
I hope fall lasts a bit longer. It would be nice to have a shorter winter.
Happy Fall Y'all!

Where Have I Been???

2011-10-23T21:46:00.000-06:00

If you are wondering why I've been a bit MIA these days...well, okay, no one has actually wondered that due to my blog, but just for those of you who are interested anyway...here it is!
My new co-business venture:
Darling Door Decor
Enjoy! And come buy a wreath at Oh Sweet Sadie! November 9-12, 2011 at SoDA Row in Daybreak! Someday when I'm not drowning in yarn and felt, I'll be back here to write about life again. For now, that IS my life!

Heart Work

2011-10-12T23:14:00.000-06:00

Just when life seems to hard to bear, the clouds break and the sun comes pouring through.
Life is so much better today than it was yesterday.
I can only imagine what tomorrow will be like.
_________________________________________________

Have you ever noticed how everyone has a cause? For some its politics, for others home births. For a few, sustainable foods, for others educational reform. The causes are varied and many, but it seems everyone has one. All you have to do is take a look at facebook and you'll see the things people either believe in, or profess to believe in.
I have had causes to call my own at different times throughout my life and I'm constantly being boxed into causes that I have strong opinions about. I find it amazing, that throughout our crazy lives, we all still feel a pull and a draw to solving the world. We all seem to feel a need to fix things and make the world more...good, simple, or effective.
But what do we do about the causes we seem to want to accept? Do we embody the mission? Do we post a few things on the internet? Do we sign a petition or march on Washington? How does one take a cause and actually fulfill that mission?
I believe in truly feeling and fulfilling my causes. I have always been that way as long as I can remember. But sometimes it makes a heart so sore. It can cause the greatest sorrow and pain to feel so deeply and to want so badly to help.
_________________________________________________

My kiddies are crazy this year. I love them, but they are nuts. What an interesting ride. Someday maybe I will go back to school too. I already miss it. Although I've certainly found plenty to keep me busy these days... More on that coming soon!

When the World Feel Heavy

2011-10-06T18:37:00.000-06:00

Sometimes it is all I can do to keep from screaming out loud.

I love my life, I really do.
I have a great job, good friends, and a wonderful family.
I have so many extra blessings to be grateful for that I can't believe it some days.
I am definitely not in a place to be a complainer.

But some days...
I just can't take it anymore.

When the world gets too hard to hold and life is too much to bear, I feel like the only thing to do is hide away. Or eat a cookie. Or run a couple miles. Or paint. Okay so I know how to cope, I guess.

Anyway, today I'm going crazy. I'm trying to keep things light, but honestly, I'm just feeling really...exhausted.

Here's to tomorrow.

Oh, and P.S. it tried snowing today. Ugh.

Dreaming Big

2011-09-18T23:30:00.000-06:00

Anyone who knows me would probably say I have always been a big dreamer. I love to dream big, find a way to make the dream a reality, and then revel in the fulfillment of a dream.

The idea of dreaming again is scary, exciting, and oh so overwhelming, especially after being absent from the dreaming world for a while. Dreaming has taken a backseat to some of the other events of my life in the past few years and I am hoping to reunite with my dreamer side.

Right now, big things are churning in my life. At least things that feel big to me. I am looking forward to working on some big dreams of mine. As nervous as I feel, I keep thinking, "The real me is there, inside those dreams." And it's true.

I am a dreamer. And big dreams will find their way back into my life again.

EISF, Peaches, School, and A Need to Run

2011-09-05T22:34:00.001-06:00

My oh my! Where has the time gone? How is it already September?!
I am constantly amazed at how quickly the weeks fly by! Here are some highlights to keep you updated:

I started my first week of school. I can't believe this is my fourth year teaching! I am finding that the work never gets easier, but it definitely gets to be more fun. I am also finding that I love my kids easier and easier the more confident I feel. My goal this year is to always remember an important lesson I have learned lately: "Our mistakes are not who we are. The labels we are given are not what make us special. We are all so much more than our immediate choices and actions. We all have something to give the world that is more eternal and more important than we can even imagine."
I went up to the Eastern Idaho State Fair this weekend. I LOVE it. I feel so comfortable, happy, and safe when I am doing things that remind me of the person I used to be. The EISF is one of those places/events for me. I am completely myself when I am enjoying the bounty of the fair. I have so much love and passion for that annual event. I will do a whole post on that later.
My family is going to be in town this week. I am excited to have them here to see the life I have created for myself. Sometimes its easy to feel like my daily life doesn't really matter, but when I start to think about the things I want to share with my family about who I am and what I do, I start to realize that I do make a difference, and I DO do important things.
I'm still doing art. "Art-ing" as my roommate calls it, but I haven't had a lot of time to do too much of it lately. I am going to have to figure out a way to fit that into my life more easily.
I have slacked so much on exercising. I was so good this summer. For 12 weeks I never missed my goal (4x a week) and usually exceeded it. I need to get back into the groove of things so that I can keep feeling as good as I did this summer! I was so stress-free this summer, partly because I was doing so much running!!! I HAVE to resume that habit in my life!
My new favorite food is peaches. I can't get enough of them right now while they are in season here in Utah. I just bought a half bushel today and intend to be eating a lot of good peach stuff. Pies, cobblers, fresh peaches, jam, etc. Hence the need to keep running!
I am so grateful for the good people in my life. I am learning to appreciate them more and more. I have been so lucky to remember that lately.

I will be updating many of the points as I have time to do full posts and carry out the goals I have for my life over the next little bit. Until then, Happy Fall!!!

Restoring My Soul

2011-08-23T19:51:00.001-06:00

I mentioned that I have been taking some art classes this summer.

I have been just loving learning different art techniques and practicing techniques that I used to love doing. Mostly these have consisted of watercolor painting and collaging. I used to do collaging a lot and gave it up when I started college. I just forgot about it and never really picked it up again. Watercolors have been something I have grown to love since college, but I haven't done much at all since I started teaching.

Anyone who knows me knows that I do not have a difficult time with words. I self-proclaim my abilities to discuss, chat, and explain with my words in all forms. I love to write, I love to talk, and I love to analyze words.

This being said, one thing most people may or may or may not realize about me is that I often hold my deepest, dearest, most sensitive thoughts and feelings very close to my inner-most part of my heart, never to be discussed or written.

Art has always been a way for me to express the things I cannot say. Those deep, dear, close, hard things are so much easier for me to understand when I can put some creativity into expressing them. I used to believe I wasn't creative, artistic, or "crafty," because I have sisters and a mom who are all highly creative, artistic, and "crafty" and I never seemed to grasp onto the same kinds of skills and talents they all seem to share. Since my youth, I have learned to believe that I have creative and artistic abilities that just happen to be different than the ones I always wished for. And to that end, I have been so happy to spend some time enveloped by art this summer.

When my heart has something to say, it comes out in my art, if I let it. These are some of the projects I have done in my online art/therapy class this summer in which I am really learning what my heart has to say. I don't ever expect my art to sell for millions, I don't even expect it to sell, but I love that it is here in my life, to remind me of the things I need to remember.

(If anyone is interested in this method or this class, feel free to visit http://www.bravegirlsclub.com/ and look up "Soul Restoration" classes by Melody Ross. I can't say enough how wonderful this class has been for me. I would recommend it to EVERYONE!)

Demolition Derby

2011-08-21T20:19:00.000-06:00

Well hi there y'all!

I'm still flying high off my Demolition Derby persona from last night.
Speaking of the demolition derby...wow! What an event! I had always heard people talk about these car-crashing events but never really knew what they entailed. It didn't take long to figure it out...

Yes, folks. Cars drive around and smash into each other. One of the most...uh, confusing?, strange?, intriguing?, forms of entertainment I have ever witnessed.

The only reason I even considered this event was because my roommate was setting up a big group date with some people I had never met, and true to my newly afirmed belief in trying to branch out, I accepted. I won't go into much detail about the actual date, considering it was not exactly what we would consider successful, but suffice it to say, I am impressed by the intensity of adrenaline that is evoked in guys who watch people crash cars into each other.

Will I ever attend a rip-roaring, car-crashing, front-end smashing, bumper-flipping Demolition Derby again, you ask? With the right people, sure. It was realtively fun and somewhat entertaining (once I stopped flinching everytime they crashed). Will I attend of my own accord, as a form of choice entertainment? Nope, but I don't feel strongly against them, if that's what you were wondering.

In the end, after getting stuck in Utah County traffic for over an hour (meaning it took us over an hour to go about 5 miles...one more reason to hate Utah County roads) I was glad I had gone. I enjoy doing new things, meeting new people, and having experiences that are, well, shall we say, interesting. Chalk it all up to grand experience!

Until the next time...

Last Day of Freedom

2011-08-17T23:25:00.000-06:00

Today was my last day of total freedom until next June.

That sounds depressing, but I have to remember that I have had two and a half great months of relaxing, playing, and rejuvenating. This summer I have done those things more than any summer so far. In fairness, teachers do the work of 12 months in a 9 and a half month time frame so those summer vacations are awfully important. Anyone who says otherwise is probabaly crazy. Or a politician.

I am starting back tomorrow with meetings for the next week and a half. I've been working on my classroom for the past week or so, just a little bit at a time. I didn't have too much that I HAD to do, but I had things that I definitely wanted to get done before meetings started this week. Filing, organizing, a few little changes here and there, bulletin boards, etc. It is just nice to have the basic stuff taken care of so I can spend my "free" time planning instead of cleaning and such.

I am actually pretty excited to go back. I always get to this point in the summer and wish for about 3 more weeks so I could do all the things I haven't fit into the summer, but besides that, I feel like I have had a great break! I haven't done as many "big" things as I usually do during the summers (like travel to foreign countries or spend time at the local pool) but I have certainly had a great summer. Running, crafting, collaging, painting, going to parties and activities, small traveling, weddings...all in all it has been productive and (mostly) fun!

In order to celebrate the last days of summer, I went to the dentist. I know, I am a party-and-a-half! I really know how to have fun! Good news though: after refusing to go to the dentist for 2 years (I seem to average that because I hate going to the dentist) I was cavity, and even tartar, free! I was dreading news that I might have to get root canals or have 12 cavities filled, but thanks to my genes, I have good, strong teeth that haven't had cavities in over 4 years! Yay!

Unfortunately, I must end by saying adieu to my lovely, favorite, happiest time of year. Summer, I love thee and hope to enjoy a few more days here and there of the summer feeling. Until next June...I bid thee farewell!

Catching Up to Summer

2011-08-12T00:45:00.000-06:00

I can't believe how quickly this last half of summer has gone! I have been so busy I have hardly had time to think straight and now the school year is about to start!

My life this summer seems to be all about a few specific things: weddings, art, and sunshine. Other people's weddings, of course, but weddings seem to be happening ALL the time these days. I feel like I went through a wave of friends getting married back about 5 or 6 years ago, and now, the wave has blown in again. I have a wedding to go to every single weekend in August, and that is just the weddings of people I care a lot about! I have invitations to several others but I don't intend to go to those. I don't particularly care for weddings, especially wedding receptions. I know. Sue me.

I am in the middle of taking a few art classes. I have spent most of the summer being reminded that I used to have talents in the artistic realm and I have let them wither away and die. Early this summer I determined to revive some of those skills as best I could while I had time to study the skills and practice, and I must say, I have been fairly successful. I took an Art for Educators course which was a lot of fun and highly practical. We studied many types of art media and I found myself encompassed by the sheer joy of creating things. I also found that I am still good at the types of art I used to be good at. Mainly I have been doing watercolor paintings and collaging. I love both of these art forms and have found a lot of solace in the time I have set aside to focus on developing a talent and a hobby. I find a lot of comfort in losing myself to the artwork. It is like I can escape to another part of me that has been begging to exist. To that end, I also love feeling like I have a little bit of my "old self" back again.

I have been trying to spend a lot of time outside, seeing as how I rarely see the sun or breathe fresh air during the school year. I feel like I spend 9 months out of the year trapped inside my school and the other 3 are desperate for the outdoors. I have been trying to do a lot of running, walking, biking, and hiking, but have also just enjoyed having time to sit on the porch, relax in the sun, and wander around the neighborhood. Not aimlessly of course.

I am on the verge of starting a new adventure (also known as the new school year) and I am hoping for the best. I think this year will be the best year I've had and I look forward to my new batch of kids. Believe it or not, I may almost be ready for them again. I've actually missed them a little this summer and look forward to being back in the swing of things. I sure am grateful for the summer I've had though, and wouldn't give it up for the world! (But maybe for a six figure salary).

Happy Trails my friends! And hopefully I will be back soon!

Squeezing Some Last Minute Sunshine Out of Summer

2011-07-26T12:18:00.002-06:00

Lately I've been pretty busy around here.

A lot is going on in this last month of summer and so I've been trying to keep up with everything.

Because summer is ending soon, (sad day) I have been trying to stay focused on enjoying every last bit of it. I've been trying to soak up the sun, sleep in when I want to, travel, and hang out with as many friends as I can. The past couple of weeks have been fun!

My friend Cami is getting married in a couple of weeks and so all us Single Ladies (who are bridesmaids) threw her bridal shower last week. We went on our annual SLs camping trip on Monday night and then prepared and hosted the shower on Tuesday night. I can't say it was the smartest timing we've ever had, but everything went down pretty well. I was in charge of the food but I had a lot of helpers (for which I am definitely grateful)!

3 Homemade salads and 3 types of pinwheels

Oreo truffle hearts, fruit kabobs, chocolate cake fruit kabobs, and 2 kinds of fruit dip

The bridal party: Me, Cami, Aleesha, Natalie, Melissa, Heather

On Thursday, Natalie and I headed out to have a nice, hot, summery party in Vegas. We had invited a bunch of people but in the end we were the only two who didn't have something else (work, family reunions, etc.) going on. This was a bit of a last minute trip, born out of the need for a true vacation with drinks by the pool and relaxing on the mind. Las Vegas is not one of my favorite places in all the world, but it is close, has inexpensive hotels, great food, awesome dance clubs, and lots of pools and palm trees. It ended up being a lot more fun than I had grown to expect from Vegas!

We did a lot while we were there, even though we tried to budget a lot of time for just relaxing too. We shopped, ate (a lot), saw Bill Cosby's show, and enjoyed a little Vegas nightlife.

Road-trippin' it to Vegas!

Enjoying a scrumptious frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity3. Divine.

Ready to go relax poolside.

Bellagio Water & Light Show

Ready for some Vegas nightlife

We also stopped in St. George on the way home from Vegas since there is a beautiful outdoor amphitheater that has awesome shows. We saw "Grease" and it was wonderful! I want to go back again to see more shows there soon! We also stopped and took a walk at the stunning St. George temple!

The St. George Temple

Classic red rock of Southern Utah

Waiting for "Grease" to start at Tuachan

Since returning from our trip to Sin City, I've been hiking with my roommate, went to a SL Bees baseball game, and started thinking about getting ready for school to start here in a couple of weeks.

Between now and Aug. 18, when I have to start working again, I have 4 weddings to attend or be a part of...meaning my weekends are a bit shot from now to then. I'm hoping to enjoy my weeknights and days instead, even though I am tutoring most weeknights!! I want summer to last forever but I am actually starting to get a little excited for a new school year!

Unplugged

2011-07-17T14:56:00.000-06:00

I haven't blogged for a while...for many reasons...but we'll get to that in a minute.
No, I haven't died, run away, or dropped off the face of the planet. I didn't even take a conscious or purposeful "break" from blogging.

You ready for my story? Here goes...

I moved to a new house in a new area (I'm loving it too!) though it is not far from where I was living before. In the middle of the chaos that comes from moving we realized that we needed to get the internet installed in our new house and therefore called the internet company to schedule an appointment. We were told we couldn't get an appointment any sooner than a week and a half out, so we took it and decided to try to wait patiently. A week and a half without access to anything internet related is difficult, but not impossible. You wouldn't believe how much you CAN'T do without the internet easily accessible though. It makes life much easier to google an address rather than have to look it up in a phone book or directory somewhere, for example. Life is much faster when you have the internet around, but life is not unliveable without internet access. I adjusted well enough for that week and a half, knowing that life would be back to normal with access to the world wide web soon enough. I even tried to enjoy the forced unplugging.

On the given day, we waited, waited, and waited. No techinician came, no word from the internet company came either. We reluctantly pulled out the phone book and started trying to track down someone who could help us. We spent over 4 hours talking with people who seemed they had no idea what they were talking about, and had no idea how to help us. Eventually, after a lot of forcefulness and demanding, I finally found someone who was mildly helpful, enough to at least get an new order requested, but we would have to wait again, for at least another week. After discussing the situation I was able to find out that it had been the internet company's fault all along and so I asked that the order be escalated due to the fact that we had already been waiting a long time and the company had messed up. I was told that there would be no guarantee that could happen, but that it would be noted. I was annoyed, feeling like most big companies want you to feel, like I had no control or power.

Here comes my newly discovered love for twitter and social networking in general. (Remember this post? I have turned over a new leaf, sort of.)

I got on twitter (technically I texted twitter from my phone that does NOT have internet) and made a simple comment about how I was not happy with the internet company, tagging them in the tweet. Some friends, including a roommate who is not at the house currently but had been following our internet saga, responded asking about the situation and it quickly turned into a bit of a back-and-forth for a few minutes. Soon, the internet's Customer Advocacy Group was following me on twitter, asking how they could help, and what they could do to fix the problem. The next day, I had someone calling me, asking for my order information so they could escalate the order. I had internet the next day.

There is definitely some benefit to social media.

Especially when it gets the attention of people who are paid to keep their companies' names safe from angry customers all over the internet.

Now, I'm not saying I get everything I want this way, or that I should, but in cases like mine, I sure am glad there is still some level of customer support when a wrong is actually committed.

And now, I can blog again. I guess I had just gotten used to not blogging all the things that happen in my life, and thus took an unconscious break from the blogging world. But I'm back, happier than ever to share in the benefits of this crazy internet world, and very glad to be connected again.

Life is Like...

2011-06-21T18:50:00.000-06:00

...a strenuous hike.

You start out feeling pretty good thinking, "I've got my water, my hiking shoes, my iPod for some tunes, sunscreen applied, and a bit of enthusiasm."

As you get going, the trail doesn't seem so bad; there are a few tough spots, but nothing you can't conquer. Continuing on for a while, you start to realize that it may be a little harder than you anticipated, but still, you keep going forward. "It's not that bad, plus, the destination can't be that far now." After a water break or two, you feel rejuvenated and move ahead, with more gumption than before. And soon, ah ha! There it is! The goregous lake you've been looking for!

You take a seat near the shore and breathe in the beauty of the picturesque scene.  Children wading in the water, people sun-tanning, birds chirping...all seems well with the world.

Until you realize that there is more.

This is not the end.

There is a waterfall that is supposed to rival the lake in beauty and it is supposedly very much worth the hike to the top of the canyon. At least that is what a friendly passer-by says. You have a choice to make. Stay here, being content with the view of the lake, or continue on and find the waterfall, though the path may be longer.

Being the kind of person who believes in fully experiencing life, you make the choice to continue to the waterfall.

At first, you think, "This isn't so bad. Those people before me said it was a difficult hike. They must've been weaklings." It seems easy for a while actually. You start to feel pretty good about this choice.

Until you start rock climbing.

Initially there are just a few boulders to climb over, but soon, there are trails of boulders leading straight up and you can hardly see anything but rock paths. People are stopped all along the mountainside trying to find the energy to make it up the next section. You stop, take in some deep breaths, drink some refreshing water, and plow ahead. "I can hear the waterfall, it can't be too much farther."

Hours pass, the sun once high overhead starts to lean toward the west, but just a touch, still blazing all around you. The water seems to come from the sky...you may never reach it. You start to believe that you are not strong enough, you fall a few times, your tired feet start to slip on the treacherous rocks, you walk off the path for a bit, thinking there might be a better way to get there. Eventually you are consumed by two conflicting feelings: 1) There is no way I can make it. I am beat.  This mountain has conquered me and I cannot possibly move another step.  2) If I quit now, I'll never know how close I was to accomplishing this goal. I'll never know how far away from victory I may have been.

Another choice.

And to make matters worse, it seems your body may actually be too weak. You may, in truth, be short of what you need to be to reach the summit. So how can you continue?

And then someone offers a smile, a hand up, and encouraging word. In that instant you have been given a way to fill part of that gap you have in your own abilities. You can continue on.

It isn't easy. The rest of the way is probably the most difficult part of the entire four hours you have been pulling yourself up this moutain; you are tired, sore, scraped up, and feeling so weary, and the path continues to be grueling.   "I must be close now."

Close is relative, but you look down the canyon and see that you are much closer than you were at the lake. You are miles nearer the waterfall than you would have been if you had remained still. But alas, not there yet.

After watching several groups of people who have decided to turn around and head back down the mountain, you start to feel that you have seen enough. Maybe there is no waterfall. Maybe it is all a clever scheme to get people to believe in something non-existent. You know this can't be, but it feels so much simpler to just follow those people back down.

Even with those doubts, you choose to keep hiking.

And with several more bouts of effort that come from within and without yourself, and a few hundred yards, you finally reach the waterfall! There is an overwhelming joy at having made it, and those you have nonchalantly been hiking "with" are also happy for you. There are congratulations all around, even from people you didn't realize cared about your hike. The relief and pride you feel in reaching the destination is worth it!

And most hike analogies would end there. But this one does not.

You still have to get back down the mountain.

Though easier than going up, it is still a difficult path. This time, you know the way, you know the path, and you know the distance. It seems to take much less time, there is less hopelessness, and your biggest obstacle is your deteriorating strength, thankfully, not your deteriorating spirit. As a matter of fact, your spirit is much bolstered.

You are at the bottom of the mountain in no time. You pass the lake-sitters, you even offer friendly advice that the waterfall is worth the hike. You can't believe you are encouraging others along on that strenuous path, but you know the reward and can't hide your excitement and appreciation of the experience. Each time someone, looking weary, asks "How much further?" you are able to give them a hand up, smile, and reassure them that the way is tough, but worth it.

And when you look up, you know that you did a good thing. You may be spent. You may be covered in dirt, sweat, and yes, maybe even tears, but you did the thing you thought impossible.

You helped others, as they helped you. You fought yourself, your negative thoughts, your positive thoughts. You wrestled with difficult choices and made decisions. You faced the challenges in many different ways: anger, tears, discouragement, passion, determination, and faith. You learned your strengths, you experienced your weaknesses. You learned a little more about yourself, and you even became something.

And that, is where this analogy ends.

(Thanks google images for giving me pictures of the hike I forgot to take my camera on!)

Thinking on...Milestones

2011-06-19T23:12:00.001-06:00

I think best when I am doing one of a few things:
a) showering
b) trying to fall asleep
c) running.

I prefer epiphanies to come while I am running versus the other times, but I'll take inspiration whenever I can get it!

This week, I've been doing a lot of running and have been lucky enough to have some interesting thoughts while doing so. (Okay, I can't deny that some of these thoughts have occured in the shower as well...) One of these thoughts includes visions of laying on a beach with a frosty drink in my hand and a big floppy hat on my head, but that is beside the point...though highly tempting...

Mostly I have been thinking about milestones. Life is full of milestones and it seems we are constantly involved in our own, and others' milestones in life.

Being "young" (I'm not sure when I can stop calling myself that) and single (I definitely know when I can stop calling myself that) lends itself to the involvement of many other people's milestones on a regular basis. Graduations, weddings, job opportunities, babies, etc. are all part of the transitional part of life known as the 20s and 30s. I suppose my perspective on this is a bit biased, but run with it, okay?

Because everyone around me is involved in these momentous events, I seem to be a part of them as well. In fairness, I have had a few of my own milestones to be at the center of as well. The difference is, at some point, people either keep having big moments, or they don't. When you are on the "don't" end of that, things start to look a little different.

I am starting to learn that, at some point, milestones aren't necessarily the "big events" anymore. The milestones become smaller, more personal goals and dreams; things you don't necessarily get to wear a special outfit for.

I know this isn't a bright new idea for most people, but I am glad I can see life this way. It helps me realize that I am doing a lot of things that are still important, even when the world around me seems to be rushing in a hundred different directions and telling me that because I'm not rushing in all those directions, I must have reached a plateau in my "young, single" life. I like knowing that I am actually the beneficiary of those small, purposeful milestones that few others really know about. I'm glad I can celebrate my personal victories and daily achievements. I'm happy that others are enjoying the "big" milestones, but I'm also happy celebrating mine.

When you ask...

2011-06-16T14:54:00.001-06:00

I am a pretty easy person to get along with, pretty accepting, pretty open-minded. I don't get overly upset about too many things, and I use my passion positively as much as possible. I am loyal to a fault, but when crossed, it takes a lot to regain my trust. The things that bother me and get under my skin aren't usually terribly petty things, though I do have some of those, but are usually things that make me frustrated with humankind.

That being said,

want to know what bugs me?

Well don't mind if I do...

...people who lie.
...people who can't handle the truth.
...people who are condescending.
...drama.
...when people try to get in the middle of things that don't require fixing.
...when people put extreme emotions before considering reason.
...inconsistency.
...playing "games" in relationships.
...20, 30, or 40-somethings acting like 14 year olds.
...dishonesty, to any degree.
...when people skew and twist my words.
...chipped nails.
...change that I have no control over.
...loud, obnoxious, repeated noises.
...people who share their opinions by being bullies.
...people who think they get to tell me who I am.

(this is SO not an all-inclusive list)

Summer!!!

2011-06-12T22:13:00.000-06:00

Ah, sweet summer is here at last!

I love the first few weeks of summer vacation like I love hot fudge sundaes, sitting on the beach, and chatting on the front porch with my dad!

Speaking of...I had a fabulous time at home in Kentucky. It had been such a long time since my family had been together and so it was wonderful to be with everyone. I usually get a little anxious about spending time at home, mostly because I've been away for so long, but this trip was just pure good. I got to kiss and hug some of my favorite babies, spend a lot of time with my parents, giggle and be silly with my sisters, visit my dear Grandmama, and enjoy the Kentucky stuff that I love (like real BBQ you can only find in the south, lightning bugs, humidity, trees, lakes, gorgeous accents, twisty turny roads, and so much more!).

I can't wait for what the summer has ahead! Here are a few of the things I forsee...
1. Moving to a new house with new roommates! Can't wait!
2. Camping trip with the SLs
3. Too many weddings to count (mostly in August...)
4. Small vacay trips...Idaho? Chicago? Cali? We'll see...
5. Running in the gorgeous morning sun!
6. Farmer's Markets!!!
7. Baseball games!!
8. Snowcones and ice cream cones
9. Hiking!!!
10. Staying out late, sleeping in. Dreamy.

Summer is my favorite time of year...I just hope I don't get too bored too quickly! I'm so used to going 200 mph all the time and this summer I don't have too much to fill most of the days. No grad school like the past 2 summers, no major trips like every summer of my life, no real job or prof. development stuff I HAVE to do, but I think it will be good for me to just learn to play!

"Sun is shining. Weather is sweet. Make you wanna move your dancing feet."
— Bob Marley

Home, Home, Home

2011-06-06T19:51:00.001-06:00

I'm home.
In Kentucky.
And I happen to love it.

Lightning bugs, humidity, warm nights, green acreage, trees everywhere.

Sisters everywhere.

Babies everywhere.

Three years was long enough. I'm glad to be home.
Because, truly, there's no place like home.

Refreshing

2011-05-30T23:35:00.000-06:00

I feel refreshed.

This weekend was exactly what I needed.

Birthday celebrations, favorite people, favorite places, memories, playing, enjoying.
Nothing can be wrong with a long weekend, best friends, and good food.

When I am with the people who love me, the people who I know will accept me no matter what, I am at peace.

I feel good about me when I am with them. I feel motivated to take on the world when I remember who I am and where I came from. I feel excited for life to move forward when I realize how much the changes in my life have shaped me for good.

I have been so very blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life. I can't even begin to count them all, though I count every one of them amongst my most amazing blessings.

I'm older. Wiser, maybe. And this year will be one of my best. I can just feel it.

I feel refreshed.

It's Your Birthday! (Okay, it's mine!)

2011-05-27T00:00:00.003-06:00

Happy Birthday to Me!

I can't believe I'm here again...turning another year older already!
They say kids grow up fast...sheesh...so do us adults!
I never thought I'd be one to deny my age or pretend I was always that "perfect" age, but I'm starting to understand why people do it. I'm starting to feel my age a little bit...

Anyway, that's not what this post is about. This is about my birthday!
I always make goals on my birthday for the year. I guess it is my form of "New Year's Resolutions," just not at the same "New Year" as everyone else. I've always loved to break the mold a little...

Birthday Goals
1. Travel (I'm still lacking a couple continents)
2. Graduate school (Official enrollment in a program I WANT to do)
3. Exercise (Run a 5K this fall)
4. Budget (There's got to be a way that will work for me)
5. Smile (Sometimes I forget that life isn't so bad...)
6. Keep in touch with old friends better (and NOT just on facebook...ugh)
7. Purge the clutter in my life (live more SIMPLY!)
8. Mend, heal, learn, and then move on.
9. Spend more time outside (hike, bike, run, sun...rhyme)
10. Serve

I'm so glad to have been given life. I don't always take advantage of all that it has to offer me, but I sure am grateful I get to be here. I know that I am here to do something that only I can do. I know that I am me because I am the only person who could be exactly me.

Here's to another year to live and love!

Top Ten Reasons I Love The Month of May

2011-05-24T23:11:00.002-06:00

10. It means the school year is coming to a close and I get to enjoy my students' funny little personalities. Time slips through my fingers on the way to summer vacation. Bittersweet I say, bittersweet.

9. Some people pick May as the month in which the day the world will end should happen. Then they switch it to October, but hey! May was the first choice.

8. April showers bring May flowers. Usually. But not always in Utah. Sometimes it is the snow showers that bring May rain showers that bring flowers, but either way, I love that the tulips are out, the sun starts to set later and later, and the grass is green and fresh.

7. BBQs! Though I am somewhat of an anti-meat eater I can't help but love a good BBQ! I love the gathering that begins to happen with nicer weather and fresher foods. BBQs bring a special kind of fun that I have loved forever.

6. Memorial Day is one of my favorite holidays (I know that's weird, but it is) and I love being able to remember those I love, feel pride in my heritage, remember the sacrafices others have made for me, and feel of the special reminders that come from seeing life from an eternal perspective. I have a special connection to Memorial Day because of my family's military background, but I also just love the simplicity and beauty of a holiday like that.

5. Hiking! I love that I get to start hiking again in May. April is still too cold and snowy in the higher altitudes but May begins to be the perfect time for hikes that aren't too long or high. Which is perfect since my hiking lungs need some breaking in every year before I start getting to the hard stuff later in the summer.

4. Summer fashion begins to be a part of my wardrobe. Sandals, crops, light tees, espadrilles, and shimmery textures are always classics. I love putting away the sweaters and trousers for a few months.

3. Sun-bleached hair. How I love that I don't have to dye my hair as it loves to change on its own with the seasons. Last summer I was out in the sun so much that I still have leftover sun-streaks that I fought all winter. This summer, I can't wait to embrace the blonde again!

2. We do our Heifer Fundraiser in May every year at school! I LOVE teaching about peace, conflict resolution, famous peacemakers, solutions to poverty, and friendship. I wish the world could embody the discussions and hopes of my 8 year old students when we are studying this unit. These kids make a huge difference for others and really take this unit and accompanying fundraiser seriously. I love it!

1. May is my birthday month! And though I'm not nearly as excited as my little student was for his birthday a couple of weeks ago (imagine weeks of screaming and planning and pointing to the calendar), I do love having a time every year to celebrate who I am. I get to celebrate, reflect, and appreciate what makes me who I am. My birthday is the one day of the year when I really feel happy to celebrate me. Birthday post to come, on my birthday or round about. :)

So there you have it. Those are the top ten reaons that May is the best month of the year. And no one can deny it.

What I Used to Live

2011-05-18T21:14:00.002-06:00

I came across this quote the other day:

"...to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and to never stop fighting."
--e. e. cummings

This quote is not a new discovery for me. It is a philosophy that I have spent so much of my life believing and living. It was my senior quote in my high school yearbook, it was the quote I read every single morning on my mirror in college, and it was the quote that I kept in my head every time I had to do something new that scared me.

In high school, I was one of very few members of my church my age. I lived a lifestyle that didn't usually fit in with my partying peers and they found me an anomaly. In college, I was trying to prove that I could fulfill my dreams even though most people who loved me didn't seem to support my dreams the way I wanted them to. I fought the stereotypes of a "Mormon girl who just wanted to be a mom." I fought the "you're just going to college because your parents want you to get married" stereotype. In new situations, I took them on as a challenge, believing I was strong enough to conquer the world. In trials, I fought tooth and nail against being taken down, always believing that I was a Daughter of my Heavenly Father who loved me and knew me and would help me get where I needed to be, even if no one else believed my path was right.

Somehow, somewhere along that path, I lost that. I let the world "make me like everybody else" and in doing so, lost myself. It was a hard journey. It really is the hardest battle to fight. If you stop fighting, the world swarms in and steals every bit of identity a person can create for herself.

I stopped living what I have always known as Truth in that quote's perfection. I stopped believing that it was possible for me to live my life as "nobody but myself." I stopped fighting night and day. I stopped doing the things that made me unique. I stopped believing in my Divine heritage. In doing so, I lost my faith, my personality, my passion, and my individuality.

Recent events in my life have helped me see that indeed, I can live that way again. I don't have to be the "only Mormon," the strong, making-it-on-her-own college student, or the kicked-around-by-tribulations woman in order to be myself.

I can be the person I have always believed I am. I can be the Daughter I believe I am. I can be the little girl who loved the world, trusted people, had passion and opinions, and danced to her own beat.

I am more than those difficult experiences. I am more than those trials. I am more than those stereotypes.

I am nobody but myself.

Your Pain Has Changed Me

2011-05-14T12:42:00.000-06:00

When life gets going and we are in the middle of the daily grind it is easy to forget the things that have really hit home in our hearts sometimes.

Last summer I went to Honduras with Heifer International and it changed my life.

I spent many months pondering, remembering, trying to keep helping, and reflecting on the events of that trip but as time has gone on, the experience has dulled a little just as many things do with time.

Until this week.

I am a teacher and I got to go to Honduras with the Study Tour because of the work we do in our 2nd grade with Heifer's programs and resources. Each year our kids raise money for Heifer through an art gallery.

We started teaching that unit again a few weeks ago and had our hunger banquet and introduction to Heifer this week. It made me long for Honduras, for that life-changing experience again. I started looking at my photos, reading my trip journal, and basking in the remembrance of those amazing people I shared that experience with. Both the other Americans and the people we met in Honduras. As I was teaching my students about hunger and poverty, visions of those happy Hondurans flashed through my head and I got all kinds of choked up.

My passion in life is changing poverty--all parts of poverty, education, hunger, homelessness, power, etc. I have this heart that jumps every time think about humanitarian work. My heart wants to swell right out of my chest when I think about how much good we can do for other people. I feel even more joy when I see my students embody and truly understand the difference they can make by being charitable people.

Like one of my students' parents said to me this week at our hunger banquet, "We really are in the high income group of the world. We need to teach our kids to give, love, and do for others."

And we can. We can truly make a difference.

I want to make a difference and I just pray that someday I will feel like I have, even if only in a small simple way.

Be Where You Are

2011-05-10T22:58:00.001-06:00

I've been thinking lately...
(a dangerous pasttime, I know)

I've been thinking about living life on purpose.
I've been thinking about living life full of faith.
I've been thinking about living life with passion.

Those are some pretty big ideas there: intentionality, 100% faith, intense passion.

I don't know exactly how people do this--live with all those things--but I want to.

I've never been accused of lacking passion. That one I have done pretty well developing in my life from the time I was small. Lately I've only lacked passion in my daily routine. It can be easy to lose excitement for the mundane things, but I have a lot of reminders everyday that help me find that love and passion of living. Mostly in the form of 26 little kids whose very passion helps me find my own.

Faith. Living by faith is something I have not always been great at. Lately, I have been trying to, and although I fall off the wagon sometimes I am discovering a whole new way of living when I let go of control. When I let myself trust, believe, and have faith, life looks completley different. It is truly a brand new perspective. Like a window that was grimy and all of a sudden is crystal clear. Not that I understand what I'm looking at on the other side of the window, but at least I can see it.

This last one, living life "on purpose" is really my toughest one to learn. I've always been pretty good at seizing the moment, taking every opportunity I can get my hands on, and filling my life with amazing experiences, but I'm not sure that is exactly what it means to live on purpose. I'm starting to believe that living life on purpose is more than that. But I'm still not quite sure exactly what it is I'm not seeing. There is something I'm missing in this one, I just don't know what.

Life is worth living, that I know.
Life is worth enjoying, that I believe.
Life is worth learning, that I live every day.

So cheers, to another day.

"Be where you are, otherwise you will miss your life." --Buddha

Perfect Day

2011-05-07T22:11:00.001-06:00

I love it when I get to have perfect days.
They don't happen all that often, but when they come, I embrace them and don't question them.
There are a lot of ways to have a perfect day but there are some constants in there too:

1. Great people. *New friends, old friends, family, good dates, funny waiters, silly kids...all of the above can fit into that category of great people who can make a day perfect.

2. Fun events/activities/schedules. *These can be days where all you do is chat with friends for hours, go shopping together, or walk in the park with your love, but whatever the activity it has to be fun, you have to laugh until you cry, you have to smile so much your face hurts, or you have to feel completely fulfilled in your conversation in order to add to a perfect day.

3. Beautiful weather. *For me, this cannot be a day of snowstorms or bitter cold. In order for it to truly be a perfect day it has to be sunny, warm, and wholly pleasant. I supposed that beautiful weather could be perfect in different ways depending on your activities for the day, but for me, I need me some vitamin D for a perfect day.

4. Ending with hopes for more. *If you don't end the day wishing you could have it all over again, just to have it the same way, then it probably wasn't perfect. Exhaustion, sun-burned faces, scratchy voices, aching abs and cheeks, and running mascara might all be parts of the casualties of a perfect day, but they are casualties I appreciate when the day is so great you just want it to happen exactly as it did again.

If you haven't had a perfect day lately, you really ought to find a way to create one. Days like that can give a person a totally renewed, completely uplifted, absolutely refreshed perspective on life and how to live it. And we can all use a little of that once in a while!

A Letter of Friendly Advice

2011-05-03T18:31:00.001-06:00

Dear World,
If I have any advice to give anyone right now it would consist of several things including:

My past shapes who I am, but does not have to be part of who I become.
Life doesn't get easier, it only gets easier to deal with.
Disappointment and trials eventually turn into opportunities for growth, and you will grow from them at some point.
Happiness has to do with who you are, who you are becoming, and how you deal with the journey to get there.
You never really "get there" but you do get closer.
The most important things are the things you think mean very little.
People are generally good. People need love to be good sometimes, but they are good.
It doesn't matter how far away you are, how much you try to distance yourself from your problems, if you don't deal with them, they will always be your neighbor.
In the darkest of moments, the tiniest bit of light is that much brighter.
Smiling even when you don't feel like smiling will change your life.
Kids have an acute sense of feelings, and they are completely oblivious. This makes them the perfect people to love those in need, say the right thing, and make the world a better place to live in.
There is always, always, always another chance.
You always, always, always have a choice.
Dancing can fix any bad day.
Faith, trust, and getting up everyday are the ways to move forward on the right path.
The path is different for everyone, but it is right for each of us.
Nothing is by chance. Everything is on purpose.

So there you have it. The world may not need this, but I do. And so, my advice to the world is really my advice to myself. Things I know, things I've learned, things I'm learning. Right now, this is what I've got. Tomorrow it might be different, or longer, but this is what I've got now. And I'm living it.

Sincerely,
Me

Jumbled thoughts on self-reflection

2011-05-01T00:55:00.000-06:00

Self-reflection is not something I struggle with in my life.
I am highly aware of myself, and others.
I can see the right, and the wrong, in myself.
Often this means I also see myself compared to others, too much.

I know how to analyze everything from every angle.
People always tell me I should've been a lawyer.
I can be objective, unfeeling even, about almost any issue or idea.
I can argue for or against anything, no matter what my personal opinion.

All this, well...

...It makes me a good debater.
...It makes me a strong thinker.
...It makes me a rational, reasonable, logical decision-maker.

...It makes me terrible at sympathizing.
...It makes me awful at spontaneity.
...It makes me horrible at trusting.

I have been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. There is a lot about me that the world never sees. There is a lot about me that only I see. The hardest thing is getting the world to see the parts that I see that I think are worthy of the world's scrutiny and acceptance. But maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe all that matters is what I think of those parts of myself.

Bienvenidos a Mexico!

2011-04-26T17:52:00.000-06:00

I recently returned from a fun trip to Mexico and thought I would make this a hodge-podge post of some of the things I wanted to share from my trip.

I left the U.S.A. on Monday morning and enjoyed my stay in Mexico until Sunday evening. It was a long trip, longer than I usually take for a full-on vacation, but a lot of fun and a wonderful cultural experience!

I felt a little bit like a foreign exchange student while there because I was staying with a Spanish-speaking friend, Oli, and her family. I have a minor in Spanish, and I studied it for several years on top of that, but I haven't used my Spanish in so long that I was a bit out of it. It was a tough transition at first but I got better as the week went on. I can't say I ever got to a point of speaking freely in Spanish while there, but I did get much faster at thinking in Spanish, listening in Spanish, and trying to respond in Spanish!

I was able to see so many things while in Mexico due to the generosity of my friend and her family and I had a rich cultural exposure to many good foods, cities, historical sites, and "normal" parts of the Mexican lifestyle. I wish I had taken pictures of the food (which I almost always do, but totally forgot to do on this trip!!!) because it was fabulous!

I ate some yummy dishes including tlacoyos hidalguenses (a new one for me), pastes, tostadas, barbacoa, enchiladas (several different kinds), tacos pechuga, toratas, rice and beans (one of my favorites), lots and lots of corn tortillas, nopales, crepes, and some of my all-time favorite Mexican treats like manzanita del sol, conchas, cajeta, dulce de leche, and jicama with chile. Yeah, I probably gained like 100 pounds on this trip.

I was staying in Pachuca but we traveled all around the place all week. We were in Pachuca, Mexico City, Queretaro, Teotihuacan, Monte Real, and some other small towns I don't remember. We did a lot of traveling, both by car and bus! I never have figured out why we don't use public transportation like other countries...

We went to a few museums such as the Museo de Arte and the Museo de Cocina which were both interesting. Oli and I both like to cook so the cooking museum was really fun and I love modern art so it was really fun to see both a mixture of modern and historic art.

We saw a castle, convents, lots of cathedrals, some statues of importance, a monastery, more cathedrals, historical monuments, and beautiful parks and plazas. One of my favorite buildings was the LDS temple in Mexico City; massive, beautiful, and so calm and peaceful.

We rode a tour bus, hiked a mountain, and climbed to the sun and the moon on pyramids at Teotihuacan.

I went to a ward party where I got to eat homemade Mormon-Mom Mexican food (it doesn't get better!) and listened as the members sang karaoke! I hardly knew most of the songs, although I did know the Selena ones, but didn't have the guts to sing when the people asked me to. Over and over again. They really wanted me to "canta en ingles" but I couldn't get up the courage to oblige them, kind as they were.

All in all, it was a fun, fast, and fabulous trip! I am so glad I got to take a big trip (the first one I've had all school year) since I have been dying for one! It was perfect to see an old friend, experience a beautiful culture, and practice a dusty skill.

Celebrations and Other Opinions

2011-04-13T19:15:00.000-06:00

On a celebratory note, I am pleased to announce that I have finally finished taking my courses for my Reading Endorsement! I have been working on these classes for over 2 years, through summers, through school years. It has been a long, long road. I started these classes as a first year teacher, studying in the classes with teachers who have been teaching for 20+ years. It was a challenge I took on, and I am proud of my hard work in finishing. I have one last step...my PRAXIS test to complete the endorsement. I will be taking that on the 30th of this month and I am pretty excited to take it and REALLY complete this phase of my education. Hopefully I pass....we'll see!

I have some thoughts mulling around in my head that need a place to rest. I think this might just be it, however, I run the risk of offending some. But, it's my blog. I can write what I want, right?

I have recently had some conversations about a topic that is hitting home to many young single adults right now. A topic I rarely discuss with anyone, let alone on a publicly accessible blog.

Dating.

But not just dating.

The stereotypes surrounding dating, personalities, and compatibility.

All too often in my life, I have been on the indifferent side of the whole dating game. I never really cared all that much if I were "date-able," or if I were dating. I always felt that I was a worthy candidate, but never worried too much if anyone else thought so. However, I always knew, deep down, that I really did want to find a person who liked me enough to end up with me forever.

As my life has gone on, I have learned a lot of things about dating from the people I dated, and who have tried to date me. I was never one to refuse a date, pretty much ever, however I had some pretty rotten experiences with people who saw me as an easy target. (Hence the "tried"). Because I have always believed that a person's character is much more important than their looks (though I'd be lying if I said I didn't think physical attraction is important) I have always been one to give just about anyone a fair shot. Anyone who was not a creep sitting next to me on an airplane, being completely inappropriate and trying to hook up with me right then and there. Anyone who was not a dirtbag who forced his way into my car and tried to get me to go into dark alleyways with him. Anyone who was not masquerading as a nice, available priesthood holder but who was really sleeping with my roommate.
You think I'm kidding.

I know there are girls out there who give the rest of us girls a terrible stereotpye. There are girls who are really rude, really shallow, really manipulative. There are girls out there who make guys feel like garbage, on purpose. There are girls out there who are so unfair to the nice guys, that the nice guys lose all faith in any females.

What the nice guys who have been stepped all over don't seem to know, is that the nice girls have also been prey to those types of girls. Those are the "mean girls" in our lives; the ones who make us feel like garbage too. Those are the girls that make us feel inadequate and unimportant. Those are the girls who give us nice girls the reason to feel like we will never have a chance with any guys.

What? Does that make sense? Is that making your mind reel?

Yeah. Those girls do that to us too. How? Because THEY are the ones who get all the attention. THEY are the ones who the men notice, are attracted to, worry about, want, hate, and are so afraid of that they can't stop paying attention to them. So us nice girls? We don't get the time of day. No attention, no appreciation, nothing. Because all too often people want to dwell on the fact that others have hurt them. Nice men want to dwell on the fact that those "mean girls" need justice served. Meanwhile the girls who are trying to be good, trying to be nice, and trying to find good people to date, are being completely ignored and unacknowledged in the stereotypes of women.

All I'm saying is that the nice girls deserve a shout-out too.

The dating game stinks. For everyone who has a conscience. So we all ought to be sure to give credit where credit is due, and maybe start focusing on the people who really want to be good, kind, and nice and spend less time focusing on the people who don't DESERVE our time.

Being the Right Person

2011-04-10T18:29:00.000-06:00

For a long time now, I've had it on my mind that I need to work more on becoming who I am.
That probably sounds a little weird, but that's what I mean: "becoming who I am."

I know we all think about this from time to time, but I've felt the strong need to really develop myself as a daughter of God, a friend, a teacher, and all the other roles I hold. I know who I am supposed to be and I need to work harder at becoming that person.

I feel like it is really easy to focus on myself, as a young single person, because even when I am focusing on my students, I am still focusing on MY job. Even when I am focusing on my choices, it is still MY future that I am focusing on. It always seems to be about me. So why would I need to focus on developing the "me" even further?

I think it comes down to the fact that life has been really rough for me in the past 2 years or so. I have been focusing so much on "me" that I had lost myself. I know, that sounds weird, but it is true. I was so concerned about how everything would affect me, how everything was a slap in the face to me, or how everything that happened around me was something that people were "doing to" me, that I forgot that I have a choice in my life. I forgot that I am supposed to be shaping my life, not letting other things just happen to me and my life. I lost myself. I lost the most important parts of me.

I knew this was happening. Looking back, I saw it like I was having an out-of-body experience. I don't even have to use hindsight as I actually saw myself slipping away then, in those moments. Not only was I lost, I was miserable. My faith was tiny, my trust was at a zero, and my happiness was non-existent. I had lost everything I had ever hoped to have.

Somewhere along the way, small changes started happening for me. Things that brought me back to life. I started realizing how unhappy I had been and started trying to do things to change that state of being. I started doing the simple and important things again. I started trying to have more faith, more trust, and more hope.

Even more recently, I've made huge changes (that really are small but feel huge) in my life that have completely stripped those miserable things away. I haven't had this much peace in years! My anxiety that used to be sky-high has diminished. I hardly feel that heart-constricting panic anymore. The worries that I used to stay up all night thinking about are gone. Instead I feel a faith and trust in others. Where I used to feel sorrow and pain, now I feel joy, excitement, and a freshness of perspective.

I feel so much better about this person I am trying to be. I have so much more hope for the future me than I did before. I can look at life from a day-to-day vantage point and feel peace that the future will work out. I can work harder each day at the little things and feel the comfort of knowing that those little things add up eventually. I can stop the obsessive "to-do" lists and work a little smarter by using a "to-be" list.

I am so grateful for all that I am able to learn throughout this crazy life. I am so glad that I don't have to do this alone. I am so happy to know that there is a plan for me. For me. There is a plan that is just for me that will help me to become the person I am deep in my soul.

Simple Things in Life

2011-04-05T19:41:00.000-06:00

I spend my days, Monday through Friday, with at least 26 seven and eight year olds.
Because of this, I learn to find joy and happiness in simple, small things.

To kids, a funny looking piece of eraser can cause giggles for an hour; a crumpled up paper that misses the garbage can can provide eruptions of laughter, and a frog in their teacher's throat can evoke smiles the size of the equator.

To me, I have used these silly occurences to help me learn to appreciate those small and simple things. Granted, I don't always find erasers funny, but I do try to find joy in the things that really can brighten a day. I try to find gratitude in my heart for the little comments, sweet smiles, and naughty (but really funny) choices kids sometimes make.

Today, I feel that sweetness. Today I feel like that song that Raffi sings to my students during journal writing time: "All I really need/is a song in my heart/food in my belly/and love in my family."

Its so true. The simple, basic things are what really provide happiness. I could go live everyday knowing that I have a song in my heart and love in my family and be perfectly happy. If I really focused on those simple things.

I am glad I get to work with kids everyday. They teach me so much about "becoming like a child" and truly experiencing the world for what it is, but more importantly, what it can be.

What a General Conference Weekend!!

2011-04-03T14:29:00.001-06:00

This weekend has been seriously wonderful!

I always look forward to General Conference weekend, but I think this time around I have needed so much guidance that every message has touched right at my core.

I always believed the promises from church leaders that if you listen to conference with a question in your heart and mind, the messages will answer those questions or guide you to answers. However, I've never TRULY taken advantage of that opportunity.

Until now.

And how sad that I haven't! Because this weekend, all my questions, doubts, concerns, and insecurities have found a release in the gospel messages from the prophets and apostles of this great gospel!

What a beautiful and priceless opportunity we have, to listen to the messages, incorporate their teachings, and actually change our lives for the better! What a blessing to have the questions of my heart pierced and lifted up to answers.

I have heard the things I needed to know. Not exactly the things that I wanted to hear exactly, but definitely that I needed to know. And because my heart has been so prepared to hear the messages and guidance, none of the things I have been taught are too hard to do. None of the things I have learned are beyond my abilities with the Lord's help.

I am so grateful for the blessings of the gospel. I haven't always felt that way exactly. Some things about the Church have given me trials I never expected, but I so grateful for those trials. For now I know of myself, in a stronger, more serious way than ever before: The gospel is real. It is real life. Not a glass box that we can look at and step around. It is truly who I am and who I want to become. I am eternally grateful for the blessings of the gospel and for who it is making me become.

"Many of you are going to have very difficult experiences: disappointment, heartbreak, bereavement, defeat. You are going to be tested and tried. I just want you to know that if you don’t get what you think you ought to get, remember, God is the gardener here. He knows what He wants you to be. Submit yourselves to His will. Be worthy of His blessings, and you will get His blessings." --Hugh B. Brown (referenced by Elder D. Todd Christofferson April 3, 2011)

Working Out

2011-03-29T19:12:00.002-06:00

Sometimes it is so hard for me not to take life so seriously.

Not that life isn't serious, because it is!, but not everything in life has to feel so drastic and final! Sometimes I forget that life is also supposed to be fun, adventurous, and spontaneous.

I've never done spontaneity well.

I like plans. I like calendars. I like schedules and deadlines.

I like things to be clear, defined, expressive, blunt, and finalized.

I'm still a dreamer. I'm an "ideas person" even. But, I tend to believe that those dreams and ideas can become reality with a plan and a purpose.

I often forget that some things in life are supposed to take time. They are supposed to take some feeling out, some research, some patience. I've recently been made more aware of all this.

What's funny is that I am actually a very patient person. The things that make me impatient tend to be the things for which there is no plan, no direction, or in which I am walking completely blind.

This makes faith and trust pretty tough for me. I've worked on this. I've learned to strengthen faith, to build trust, to look for ways to deal with the present, instead of trying to see the future all the time. In doing so, I've learned a lot about myself, my expectations, my abilities, and my strengths. Living in the present is not always a bad thing. Often, it is the only way to keep sane!

Life is serious, but life is also an adventure. All the ups and downs, confusions, wonderings, blurry options, and shaky steps are what make us stronger human beings! I've never realized how weak I am, but I am training and building the strength I need to be better.

Life is Good

2011-03-24T16:58:00.001-06:00

I don't have too much to say but there are a few things on my mind.

1) I love the "good old" music. I've recently pulled out some of my favorite stuff that I've neglected for a little while. Bon Jovi, Billy Joel, Chicago, Neil Diamond. I love it all. I've been groovin' to it for the past couple of weeks and I am in love. Again.

2) I love Spring. I don't particulary care for random snow storms and rain that comes down in buckets, but I like the part of Spring when the sun actually shines after these long months of gloominess. I love when the flowers are popping out and the air is warm and just a little chilly. Mmmm...I love warm sunshine most of all.

3) I am so much happier at work these days. I don't know what did it, but a couple of weeks ago I sort of decided I just couldn't work the way I have been for the last 3 years. 14 hour days, going to school at night, grading all weekend long, writing emails at 1 a.m. None of those things were actually as productive as giving myself a chance to breathe and taking time for myself. It has made a world of difference in my life and I'm not even sure how I got here. But I like it.

4) Life has a way of working out the way it is supposed to. I'm so glad for that.

5) I have good friends, good people really, in my life.

6) I have a really fun trip coming up that I am SO excited for! I love having something fun to look forward to. Traveling to new places, seeing old friends, getting some sunshine: all things I adore and cherish.

So nothing earth-shattering here. I just wanted to let the universe (and the 3 of you who read this) know that life is good. And I am one lucky girl because MY life is good.

The Social Media Dilemma

2011-03-19T11:50:00.001-06:00

These days, I am pretty much in hate with facebook.

I am so tired of it that I am considering joining twitter. Even though I swore I never would.

Maybe I just need to cut social media out of my life in general.

However, I like being able to stay in touch with people I would have little contact with otherwise.

Because I've moved around so much, I have a lot of friends in a lot of places, but its not always possible to stay in touch with those people through phone calls and visits all the time. Some of them don't live in this country, this timezone, etc. So, social media provides that positive opportunity.

On the other hand, I'm tired of being so accessible to people all the time because of social media. This is part of the reason I still don't have internet on my phone. People have to put out at least a tiny bit of effort to text, and a lot more to call. I've only even had texting for just over a year now. I detested it for years and finally gave in because no one was communicating any other way and I was constantly out of the loop. Plus, my work started to require it. But really, I hate that communication has been reduced to broken sentences and made up words. I just wish people would take a little extra time and call.

Ugh.

To tweet or not to tweet? Does it negate the need to be on facebook as much, or does it make it worse? To cut it out, or to add more in efforts to simplify?

Real Life Conversation

2011-03-16T17:53:00.000-06:00

This happened at school today and caught me so off guard that I couldn't help but laugh.
This was so cute, and yet so inappropriate...

We made paper/pipecleaner flowers today because we are learning about the parts of a flower (petals, stamen, pistil, sepal, etc.). The kids were LOVING putting the flowers behind their ears and pretending to propose to each other with their flower rings they had created with the pipecleaners. It was goofy, but welcome to 2nd grade!

A little girl came up to me and very matter-of-factly began explaining a few of the "birds and the bees" to me, based on her flower beliefs:

Student: "Miss Andersen? Do you know how to tell if a boy really likes you?"

Me: "No, how?" (Because honestly, I don't. And I am always interested in advice from 8 year olds)

Student: "Well, the way you know a boy really likes you is he will take your flower. He'll take it right away from you and run far away with it until you finally catch up to him to try to take it back. But...if he really likes you, you'll never get it back."

And that, folks, is the love advice I am getting from 8 year olds these days. Like I said, if the child weren't 8, and hadn't been completely sure of what she was telling me, I might have died of laughter considering the unintended inuendos. Good thing I've got a good poker face.

Perspectives on Beauty

2011-03-13T23:31:00.000-06:00

I can't tell you how many times in my life I have heard people (usually guys) say,

"I don't get the whole make-up thing. Why do girls always have to wear make-up? Guys don't wear it and no one complains!"

I never quite know how to answer this conundrum.
I mean, I agree.
But then again, I don't.
And then I do.

And it turns into this cyclical issue in my head and I don't know where I stand on it. Here is the way the argument usually goes for myself:

Make-up is unnecessary. Women should be proud of their natural beauty. Of who they really are underneath their skin!

But because the majority of women wear make-up, if some women chose not to wear it, they would be viewed as ugly. I mean, don't we already do this?

But does it matter what other people think of you?

Of course not... but yes.

People judge us based on our initial appearance. Rarely does a person go deeper into a human relationship without some kind of physical attraction. Friends included! You look for people who seem to be interesting, well-groomed, and who have confidence in themselves. Often this looks like someone who is relatively nice looking (according to your own standard of "nice looking") and often women who don't wear make-up are viewed as "not confident" or "uninterested in caring for themselves properly."

It seems to be a fact: Well applied make-up makes women look more attractive.

More attractive than what? Our natural beauty? But our natural beauty fades...and some of us just didn't start out with much. At least not according to the world's definition of beauty. So make-up gives everyone an equal shot at physical beauty, right?

And what's more...make-up is supposed to enhance your natural looks, not take away from them. But if that is the case, why do we need it at all? What makes us feel the need to enhance ourselves so much?

But, again, because some people do things, we all have to live up to a standard that has been created in the world of beauty. If we don't, we are pushed to the side, ignored, and forgotten about. A guy isn't going to pick the "less pretty" girl when there is another girl who has enhanced herself to look "better."

So is it all about comparison? I hate comparing myself with others, but it seems like we do it without even meaning to most of the time. Our society has been built on comparing ourselves with those around us. Our work, our homes, our status, our salaries, they are all based on comparisons.

So my question to you is this:
How does a woman reconcile herself to one of two things: 1) Dealing with the consequences of feeling physically uglier than everyone else in order to prove that she doesn't need make-up to be truly beautiful, or 2) Getting sucked into the cultural and social norms that make a person feel like they are just "following the crowd" to fit in?

Or is there another option that I'm overlooking?

I'm sure some will say, "If you know you are beautiful on the inside, it doesn't matter what people see on the outside." I know this is true, but how many of you can actually say you feel like you can live this way? And doesn't our outward beauty often portray much of our inward beauty?

Give it to me...what is YOUR perspective on beauty?

Time for a Miracle

2011-03-12T06:57:00.000-07:00

It has been a pretty rough week at work.

The kids have been Cr.A.zY! and there have been a lot of things I've needed to get done in a short amount of time. We've had extra meetings, evening events, and general chaos this week. Not to mention, it has been really weird weather...snow, rain, wind, gorgeous sunshine...

...Could it be Spring? Spring is such a wonderful time of year when you work with kids. Spring seems to be the time of year when kids finally mature enough to "get it" and start really learning like you've always wanted them to. They start to grow into their roles as learners and finally do things because they want to, not because they are being nagged to.

The other side of that coin, however, is that they also get very, very restless.

I mean, who doesn't? Right?

I'm restless. I want to be outside all day long, enjoying the days of nice weather and sunshine. But put all that restlessness into a little 8 year old body and that 8 year old mind just isn't gonna cooperate. And can you blame 'em?

Boy howdy...do I need a miracle! I have no idea how we are going to make it through the next 3 months!

A Break, BFF, Boise, Beer Batter, Bikram, More "B" Stuff

2011-03-06T19:15:00.000-07:00

What a weekend!
There is so much to say and so much to take in right now.

I decided I needed a break from my life...mostly just work. So I decided to visit my BFF from college. She recently got married and lives in Boise, ID so I headed to that thriving metropolis for a weekend away.

I have to take the time to say how grateful I am for good friends, the ones who let me visit them, the ones who shuttle me back and forth from the airport, the ones who watered my plants at school while I was gone, and the one who is willing to substitute teach for me while I take a sanity day.

It was a nice weekend. It was fun seeing my friend, and knowing that we can still have fun just like the "old days." We had plenty to keep us busy, and enough down time to enjoy each other's company. I kind of feel like I went for a spa weekend as we got haircuts (I love having a hairdresser in another state...hahaha!), shopped, and even attended a Bikram yoga class together. (More on that in a minute...) We played games, attended a Williams Sonoma Cooking demonstration/class where we learned to beer batter some onion rings, puzzled a little, played the Wii (Just Dance!!) and talked a lot. I love her and I am grateful she is in my life. Its funny...after all these years of being such good friends, people seem to think we are sisters. No matter where we go, people ALWAYS ask! Even random people like grocery store clerks and such! We aren't sisters, but I sure am glad she and I have stuck together for so long!

So Bikram yoga...I tried it and I'm pretty sure I've never done anything like it before in my life. Nor do I plan on ever doing it again. I don't think. I have never been hotter in my life. And I mean that temperature-wise, because looks-wise, I was NOT hot. I'm glad I did it, but mostly to say that I did. But the one thing I can say, is this: I have never been more focused, and in need of focus, then I was in those 90 minutes!

On another note...
My Granddaddy passed away today. He had been quite ill with kidney cancer and had just been sent home with 2 weeks to live, as of yesterday. I guess he didn't want to wait on anyone else's timetable so he let go of this life. He is and was a good man. He will be greatly missed and forever loved.

So much to think of these days...life changes in moments. I'm glad to remember what I am grateful for and for the people in my life whom I am blessed to have. We are always watched over and blessed, no matter how it seems our lives are going. I am grateful for that.

Happiness

2011-02-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

My friend and colleague has been posting on her blog lately about happiness and how to find it, what it is, and how to keep it. I have loved reading her posts because I have been contemplating happiness a lot lately. Plus, the more I read about being happy, the more I want to promote happiness too!

I have been trying to practice the "choose your attitude" idea in my life, and it seems that many things have happened that I have consciously noticed because of my own choice to try to be happy. My students and I had a discussion about how important it is to choose to be happy each day so that you are the best person you can be, each and every day. They teach me a lot. When I see their great big smiles every time I point to the "Smile and make someone's day" sign we made together, I feel so full of gratitude for their examples to me.

I am also learning that happiness comes from balance. The more I try to focus my efforts on creating balance in my life, the easier it is to feel happy. When I spend my time focused on only one part of my life all the time, I start to get bogged down and frustrated with my entire life!

People make a difference also. The more I find myself around positive people, the more I find to be grateful for in my life. The more I find things to be grateful for, the happier I feel about each day and each task.

Today, my heart is full of happiness and gratitude. I know that I am making a choice to let that happiness in, and I hope that it will continue. It is definitely a process, but I am trying to speed it along the right direction!

Today, be happy! And spread that happiness to those around you!

Things Always...Work Out?

2011-02-24T23:44:00.000-07:00

I am never short of opportunities in my life to show that things always work out the way they are supposed to, even though they usually aren't how I think they should.

Usually I fight and resist the things that happen because they aren't "in my plan." But in hindsight I almost always feel pretty grateful that I didn't get my way.

I don't know exactly how it all works, but I know it all works out.

I need to figure out how to have more faith and trust that things will be fine. That I can let go of control, a little bit, once in a while. I need to believe that I can put my own ideas aside and let my will become secondary to the plan that is prepared for me.

What a test that is! What a trial it can be! But what a wonderful chance to learn and grow it can also be! Now I just need to convince myself of that in the face of something new and exciting!

Treats and Sweets

2011-02-21T10:56:00.002-07:00

I am not a photographer, though I need to learn if I am ever going to upload pictures to my blog. However, I like to have little shapshots to share, whether I'm good at photography or not!

I am, however, pretty good at making these little treats. I LOVE to make themed goody plates for holidays and this was one of my favorites!

This was what a friend and I made for some of our valentines this year. They are heart and kisses shaped oreo truffles! (Or as we call them at my house, oreo balls.) I think they were a hit! Who doesn't love oreo balls? And then, when they are shaped like hearts and kisses...you just can't help but love 'em.

Redemption

2011-02-17T20:41:00.000-07:00

You shared your story of life and faith,

it touched me deeply.

I found a strength in your simplicity,

a strength I've never known.

Your love and trust saved lives you love,

it may have even saved my soul.

Confidencia, fe, amor,

familia, Dios.

I needed to know your story.

I needed to hear your words.

You gave me hope,

reassurance in my waverings.

I know things now,

I had forgotten.

My Hometown

2011-02-11T00:11:00.001-07:00

Do you ever find yourself just feeling grateful for all the great people you know?
I am so lucky that I have so many people I can count on my list.

One of the things that means the very most to me, the most of all the things that mean something to me,
is when I can be around people who know me. What I mean is those people who have memories with me. With whom I have memories. The people who knew me as a "kid" (whatever stage of kid-hood they knew me at) and who still like me! The people who I can instantly feel happy with, laugh with, and fall into a comfortable conversation with.

I love that.

My life has been complicated. It still is most days. But, no matter how far away I have lived, no matter how many places I have been, no matter the amount of schools I attended, churches I went to, or neighborhoods I lived in, there are always those people who make me feel like I have a "hometown."

My hometown is not like most people's. My hometown is located somewhere between the past and the present and houses streets like Memory Lane and Good Times. My hometown is one of the heart. And I'm so glad I belong somewhere.

I'm glad I have people in my life who help me remember that.

I love that.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

2011-02-07T17:36:00.000-07:00

Life is full of decisions.
I know this, but I hate this fact.

There are so many things in a day that I wish I could just decide once, and then never have to think about ever again.

I also wish that decisions weren't the things that plague my dreams and taint my view.

Its not that decisions are always bad, its just that I get really tired of feeling like I have to make them all. And that I have to make them so often. And that I have to make so many of them.

I like decisions like, "Should I go to Mexico or the Bahamas for Spring Break?"
I also like the ones like, "Chocolate or vanilla?"

But the ones like, "Call in a sub or suffer through the day?" and "Graduate school or not?" and "Life-changing adventure or status quo?" are definitely not my favorites.

I like being able to choose when I WANT to choose. Not when I HAVE to choose.
Anyone who knows me is probably laughing and nodding their heads right now, because this is not news to them.

Why I Love My Job

2011-01-26T18:00:00.000-07:00

Okay...we all know I am classic good at complaining about how crazy my kids are, or feeling swamped and exhausted, or ready to burst from stress and long hours, etc. etc. etc.
We know. I'm good at saying the hard parts.
But...
There are those moments, those gems of moments, when I realize why I love my job.

Exhibit A
Yesterday morning's morning message:

Dear Class,
Happy Tuesday! I love Tuesdays and I know today will be a great day.
Did anyone see the sunrise this morning? It was so pretty.
Please do your grammar and then read silently.
Love and Smiles,
Miss Andersen

After recess, one of my students (who is as precocious as they come) hopped over to my desk and threw her arms around me while saying:
"Miss Andersen, I LOVE you! I just love it when you smile! It lights up the whole room. Actually, I think YOU must be the sunrise!"

That could just melt a person's heart. Seriously. All I could do was hug that little girl with her toothless smile.

Exhibit B
This morning I came to work and there were 20+ math shoebox games that had been put together by a wonderful parent in my class. Not only had she cut out, colored, laminated, etc. all the pieces, she also bought all the supplies that belonged in them, as well as put them in plastic shelf containers that she bought. I was truly overwhelmed by her generosity, time, effort, and money that she put out for me and my class.

People truly can be so good. And so kind.

Sometimes I just need to remember that. And I need to remember to be more like that.
Gosh, I'm grateful for my blessings today!

Friends in "High" Places

2011-01-23T15:02:00.002-07:00

Los Angeles, California.
Jacksonville, North Carolina
Chicago, Illinois.
Birmingham, Alabama.
Florence, Alabama.
Little Rock, Arkansas.
Mexico City, Mexico.
Boise, Idaho.
Madrid, Spain.
Boulder, Colorado.
Norman, Oklahoma.
Las Cruces, New Mexico.

Thank you all. I've never felt so loved. You all make me smile.

Running away...

2011-01-21T19:11:00.001-07:00

I always seem to feel this way in January.
I don't know what it is that makes this month so tough, but I just want it to go away.
The kids are tough.
The classes are long.
The days are exhausting.

It makes me want to run away. Far, far away.
For a long time.
At least until January is over.

I get so tired of being dependable, consistent, reliable, and hard-working.
I just want to be spontaneous, crazy, flighty, and unstable.

I need an adventure. And not one that happens in my classroom.

Where should I run to?

(Thanks google images!)

The Art of Making Friends

2011-01-11T21:35:00.000-07:00

As a 2nd grade teacher I spend a lot of time teaching kids how to make, and keep, friends.

2nd graders are notorious for not really having a group of friends...many of them actually wander around feeling like they don't have any friends, just because they don't have a consistent buddy to play tag with. The thing about that is that its never really true... they always have a whole class of friends in 2nd grade, but they just don't know how to "be" friends.

Sometimes I wonder if we all ever grow out of that. Sometimes I realize that I have so many people around me all the time, but I feel like I "don't have any friends." Which is completely untrue! I have amazing friends! I just don't always have someone to "play tag with" everyday.

Today I felt like I graduated to 3rd grade. I got to spend some time with a "new friend." And although the beginning stages of a friendship are often like the awful, awkward stages of a first date, I had forgotten how much fun it can be to make a new friend!

I've done the whole "I-don't-need-other-people" stage. It wasn't fun. And it was completely fruitless. And boring.

I still get anxiety about opening up to others, trusting people, and being accepted, but I think I'm finally getting to a place where I feel like I can make and keep friends in my life.

And I'm glad we get to grow up a litte...at least sometimes.

Days Like That

2011-01-09T00:16:00.000-07:00

Gosh it's so easy to feel old somedays.
But then...there are also those days that let me feel like a kid again!
Those are the days that revive my love for life...for really living.

Inhibitions so often keep me from truly being myself, but when I let them go (or at least some of them) I start to feel like I am me again. The "old" me, or rather the me that existed in the past...

The me that loves to sing out loud...no matter how terrible it sounds.
The me that loves to dance like a grooving maniac all night long.
The me that loves to talk in crazy accents and act a little silly.
The me that loves to imagine, and dream, and hope for the good.
The me that loves life, loves people, and loves to really experience and feel the world around me.

It sure is nice to have days like that once in a while. It's nice to feel like I am swimming instead of drowning. Running the race instead of chasing something down. Living instead of surviving.

Thank goodness for days like that.

The Very BEST Medicine

2011-01-06T19:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the pain and stress of life can be too much to handle.
Crying is exhausting. Feeling sorry for myself is unproductive. Anger is hurtful.

But when I am feeling down...I am lucky enough to have a bunch of little light-bringers in my life.
Even when I think I can't take it one more second, one of them does something that makes me laugh until my sides ache.

Today...
I am grateful that laughter really IS the BEST of all medicines out there.

Personality Problems

2011-01-04T22:32:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I realize that I have personality problems.
Yes, I know.
Everyone else in the world probably knows this already.
I have known it, I just don't like to admit it.
My parents have been loud protesters of these traits for my whole life.
Like litearlly, my whole life.
My friends roll their eyes and put up with it.
My colleagues have gotten used to it, though I think it irritates the crap out of them.
And me?
Well, I just don't know quite how to control it.

I love to argue.
Okay, not really argue, but I like to discuss and debate and play devil's advocate until every possible option has been exhausted.
I just like knowing that everything has been covered, thought about, and considered.
But, it drives me and everyone around me, c.r.a.z.y.

This is something I have truly tried to work on and change about myself, but it is pretty tough to change something in an instant that has been with you since birth.

And sometimes my relentless arguing can be a good thing.
It has made me a strong decision maker, a passionate advocate for things I believe in, a good motivational speaker, and a fair judge of things I encounter.

Does the good ever outweigh the bad?

End of the Year Traditional

2010-12-31T08:15:00.000-07:00

I thought about my previous post a little (I'm still thinking about it) and decided that for now I am going to keep doing what I'm doing until it doesn't work for ME anymore.

So today, my New Year's Eve breakdown of 2010:

A friend and I were dicussing our "best" and "worst" of 2010 and I started to realize how very lucky I am. My "worst" were things that really weren't so bad...just things that I needed to learn from. There have been illnesses and deaths of loved ones, frustrations and stress at work, relationships gone wrong, and personal setbacks; but, all those things have really just been life experiences, trials and errors, and simple hurdles. When I look back at 2010's "worst" moments, I know that I am really pretty lucky to have so many "worsts" that turned out to be "okays."

My "bests" of 2010 were definitely some of the very best of my life. For that I am doubly blessed. In general, it has been a good year for rediscovering myself, fulfilling some dreams, and living life the way I want to live it. My "bests" of 2010 were also a lot of growing experiences, life-changing moments, and reminders of who I am becoming. I am lucky to have had so many great experiences that have made my life so happy this year.

In a brief snapshot, here are a few of my year's highlight moments:

Best and Worst Highlights of 2010

Best: Heifer Honduras Educator's Study Tour
Worst: Struggling with a new class of 2nd graders that I have no idea how to effectively teach...they are pushing me outside the box!

Best: Seeing my grandpa again after 10 years.
Worst: The passing of my grandmother after not seeing her for 10 years.

Best: Traveling to new and exciting places to see friends and family (Chicago, New York, Seattle, L.A., Palm Desert, Honduras, Miami, Boise)
Worst: Contracting Dengue Fever while traveling to Central America

Best: Rekindling the flame of faith in my life.
Worst: Anxiety and stress of finding that long lost faith again.

Best: Losing weight...9 pounds lost in October/November...learning to love running and eating healthier.
Worst: Feeling the need to cut out some of the foods I love!

Best: The reuniting of all the Single Ladies.
Worst: Trying to make decisions and plans with all the SLs again.

Sales are down

2010-12-28T18:26:00.000-07:00

I haven't been a terribly active blogger lately, partly because I feel like I am writing to the void that is the internet and no one and nothing else.

Which, in some ways, is totally fine. I like writing and I like writing what I want to write; however, I feel a little like an door-to-door salesman who is striking out every time...because no one is home or no one is buying.

Maybe I just need to find my groove again, so that my readers are interested, or maybe I need to stop blogging and just start journaling.

I'm going to think on this for a while...until I decide.
Until then, happy blogging everyone!

Christmas Eve

2010-12-24T10:20:00.000-07:00

Merry Christmas to all...
(I know there are about 2 people who read this, but Merry Christmas to you 2!)

On the list for Christmas Eve:

Mass at the Cathedral of the Madeline
Making traditional cheeseburgers with the sisters
The Christmas story from the good old KJV
Chrismtas movies and hot cocoa

I wish you all peace, love, joy, and the gifts of our Savior!
Happy Christmas!

What Does Christmas Mean?

2010-12-23T20:46:00.000-07:00

This is the talk I wrote for our Christmas program at church. I really enjoyed preparing a talk about Christmas because it helped me feel the Spirit of Christmas more than I have all season.
My favorite parts of Christmas have always been the traditions that surround the season, not so much Christmas morning and the presents. I love that Christmas can still be centered on the Savior, and that all the love, kindess, patience, and peace of the season, reminds us of Him.

"Some of my happiest and most vivid Christmas memories come from when I was little and my family would act out the Nativity story together. When I was about 4 years old I solidified my role as the Angel of the Lord because I was such an enthusiastic actress in that role. To this day, though we don’t perform the Nativity together anymore, my favorite part of the story is the first of the angel’s words: “Fear not: for behold I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all people…” (Luke 2:10-12)

Christmas is and should be a time of joy and good tidings; of remembering that very reason we have it to celebrate. Those good tidings of great joy that the angel brought were tidings of a Savior who would redeem all mankind…who would be not only the Savior of the world, but the personal Redeemer for each one of us.

In the First Presidency’s Christmas Devotional this year, Pres. Uchtdorf stated:

"We know what the Christmas season ought to be—we know it should be a time of reflection on the birth of the Savior, a time of celebration and of generosity. But sometimes our focus is so much on the things that annoy and overwhelm us that we can almost hear ourselves say in unison with the Grinch: “Why, for fifty-three years I’ve put up with it now! I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! . . . But HOW?”

While it’s true that we can find materialism and anxiety in Christmas, it is also true that if we have eyes to see, we can experience the powerful message of the birth of the Son of God and feel the hope and peace He brings to the world. We, like the Grinch, can see Christmas through new eyes."

As a teacher, I can hardly hide from Christmas’s hustle and bustle, commercialism, stress, and secular aspects—Santa Claus and wish lists are often the topic of discussion from Halloween to Christmas break with 7 year olds—but I also get to see the magic of Christmas through the eyes of children.

Sometimes I am surprised, and often impressed, by my students’ sensitivity to the importance of all things Christmas. Of course there are the toys and parties, but over the years my students have taught me a lot about really making the Savior an important part of this season.

The other day I was listening to my students as they worked on a Christmas art project. I heard one of them talking about how excited she was to have Santa Claus come and bring presents. She started talking about all the things she wanted and all the things she was sure she would get. (I was shocked as I always am when the kids start gasping over iPads and cell phones and things I can hardly afford…). This little girl started squealing about all the things she loved about Christmas including Santa Claus, the North Pole, elves, reindeer, and stockings. I almost stopped listening to focus on something else, brushing the conversation off as “just kids getting excited about Santa,” but I listened a moment longer. The little boy sitting next to her looked up, raised one eyebrow, and stated, “Don’t you know that Christmas is actually when we celebrate Jesus? It’s His birthday anyway. Christmas is for Jesus, not Santa.”

I was sufficiently humbled. I think the little girl was too.

Christmas is, as my student said, “for Jesus,” and for joyful rejoicing in the gift of the Savior’s Atonement that was made possible by His birth and His death. In Pres. Eyring’s Christmas talk he stated:

This little child, born in a stable and cradled in a manger, was a gift from our loving Heavenly Father. He was the promised Redeemer of the world, the Savior of mankind, the Son of the living God. He was with His Father before He came to earth in mortality, the Creator of the earth upon which we stand.

Above all, the Savior whose birth we remember this season of the year paid the price of all of our sins. Again the prophet Isaiah, long before our Lord’s birth, saw the gift beyond price of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

He gave us this description of what the Savior did for us:

“Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

“But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.”

Those who have felt that peace and healing have their hearts filled with gratitude. And so do those who love them.

That is the spirit of Christmas, which puts in our hearts a desire to give joy to other people. We feel a spirit of giving and gratitude for what we have been given. The celebration of Christmas helps us keep our promise to always remember Him and His gifts to us. And that remembrance creates a desire in us to give gifts to Him."

Our Savior, Jesus Christ, “wounded for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities,” was born that first Christmas day to enter this world as our only way back to our Heavenly Father. He was born to show us how to love, how to teach, how to live, and how to give. But above all, He was born to pay the price of our sins that we might someday be like Him.

Christmas is a time of joy and good tidings. The Angel of the Lord brought good tidings of great joy for all people. The gift of a Savior spans all generations, all dispensations, all continents, and can reach all hearts. In remembering that joy and those good tidiings we can remember the true meaning of Christmas. In remembering what Christmas is really about, we are able to see Christmas through spiritual eyes, new eyes that help us remember and believe in the sacredness of this season.

I know that Jesus Christ lives. He was the Child who unto us was born, who unto us was given. He is my Wonderful Counselor, my Everlasting Father, my Prince of Peace, and my Savior."

(Picture credit: google images, Greg Olsen art)

Christmas Break Randomness

2010-12-21T18:37:00.000-07:00

I feel like it has been a while since I have really been here.

Maybe because I sort of copped out by doing the challenge posts and just trying to make my life simple. But...I am glad the be back. I've missed this!

Since I am on Christmas Break as of about 20 minutes ago and I finally have some time again...here is a random assortment of some of the crazy things that have been going on in my life lately...

I love Heifer International...if you don't know that by now, you can't have been reading my blog for long....or have known me for long. Anyway, this is a link to an article that was published at the end of November in a local newspaper here in Salt Lake City. The article is about my class and my participation in an Educator Study Tour to Honduras this summer. It is a nice article, with only a *few* little details confused! Haha! Media!
On the same note...one of my cute little students dontated a flock of chicks from the Heifer Gift Catalog in my name for me for Christmas this year! That is one of the best presents I have ever received!
I gave a little talk in church this week. I used the First Presidency's Christmas talks to prepare and I really felt like I was able to feel the way Christmas should feel. I'll include some of their words and my words this week in future posts about Christmas.
Today was our last day of school for the calendar year! It was actually one of the best days we have had as a class all year! It has been a rough year getting started and these kiddos have really made me think out-of-the-box, but they are teaching me just as much as I am teaching them. The fact that today they hugged me and told me how much they would miss me about made my heart melt. Their cheerful little faces and shouts of "Happy Christmas" and "See you next year" are one of the best parts of Christmas for me.
I know this is a busy time of year for many families, but for me, I love being invited to the piano recitals, gymnastics performances, basketball games, dance recitals, baptisms, etc. It makes me happy to be able to support my kids in so many things.
My big sister had another baby a couple of weeks ago. I am an aunt again! Liam is the first bot we will have in the recent generations, so it will be fun to have a boy around! I can't wait to hold him and love on him!
We went down to temple square to see the lights and go to the Michael York, David Archuleta, and Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert this past weekend. It was fun...Thanks Lemmons!

So, that is pretty much everything that is worth nothing anyway. It should be nice to have a little time to just hang out and enjoy Christmas.

Happy Christmas Break! :)

Day 15--My Dream House

2010-12-16T22:45:00.001-07:00

Wow...so this is finally (FINALLY) the last day of this 15 day challenge. I have enjoyed it, but it has felt like it has lasted a bajillion zillion years!

The last thing I am supposed to write about is my dream house.
I think I have too much of a mixed sense of style to pin it down exactly, but I have some ideas.

The first thing I would like is for the house to fold all nicely so I can move it from place to place anytime I want to in my suitcase. I don't know where my dream house would actually be, so it would have to be able to come with me, like the tents gypsies have. Or like the ones Harry Potter has...

The next thing I would like in my dream house is some character. I don't like all these cookie cutter houses that are so very popular in the state I live in. I would rather be in a house that has some flaws and misprints. I like the things that make a house unique and comfortable.

My house would probably have to have a giant kitchen.

And large closests for my shoes.

And maybe solar power panels.

Honestly, my dream house is a home where I can be happy with the people I love. Someday I hope to have both of those things in close proximity. Home is where the heart is, and my heart has learned to love places and homes as long as I am with the people who are important to me.

And there you have it...my dream house and the last installment of my 15 day challenge! Soon I will be back to normal blogging again!

Day 14--Pictures of things that make me happy

2010-12-14T22:57:00.001-07:00

My Portuguese paradise. One of the best places in the world to snorkel.

Recycling. It kind of goes with the whole save-the-world thing I like so much.

Oh yeah...hippies in trees totally fits. That makes me more than happy!

Ballet has made me happy since I was a tiny kid. Ballet shoes make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

My family.

My sister and brother-in-law with my niece...my new nephew makes me happy too!

Palm trees. I love them all no matter where they are. I love them.

Heifer friends in Honduras.

My home in Kentucky. A labor of *mostly* love for our family. And "home" has always been where the family is for me!

My goofy dad. Boy do I love him!

Prom at the ocean in the "glory days" of my old life. That ocean is more home to me than just about anywhere I've ever been.

Trail's End Camp. A home away from home. I live 10 months for 2! Those were some of the best summers of my life!

You already know it, but I love heifers. Especially these kinds.

I discovered the land of milk and honey! And it makes me smile!

The ISU Homecoming parades in Pocatello.

Cotton candy on a stick at the Eastern Idaho State Fair. Love on a paper stick!

Friends, NYC, travel.

The start of it all. The single ladies and our adventures together.

Giant potatoes. Only in Idaho.

Salted pecan hot fudge sundaes at Scoopys...or more recently known as Caliches. Oh how I love thee!

New Mexico makes me happy too...

Vacations with my sister.

Camping with friends.

Day 13--Goals

2010-12-12T15:30:00.001-07:00

I am getting closer to the end of this 15 day challenge...today I am supposed to write about some of my goals, of which I have many.
Here goes...

1. Finish and obtain my reading endorsement.

2. Go back to school. Get a Master's degree. Preferrably at Columbia University in Developmental Psychology...but we'll see.

3. Travel to all 7 continents. 4 down, 3 more to go. Antarctica is going to be the trickiest I think...

4. Read and know the scriptures well.

5. Find more purpose in my prayers.

6. Go on humanitarian trips to study help change poverty and the real challenges in our world.

7. Own and run a business.

8. Learn to sew.

9. Speak Spanish regularly and fluently.

10. Be the best person, daughter, friend, sister, teacher, student, and colleague that I can be.

Day 12--What You Believe

2010-12-08T18:51:00.000-07:00

A good 7 or 8 years ago this would have been a really simple question for me to write a narrative on.
As I've gotten a little older, seen a little more of the world, people, and life, I have had to refine and redefine my answer to this question.

First of all I have to say that these are definitely my core. They are what I believe at the very simplest, and ironically, the most complex level.

I am a woman of faith. I believe in my Savior and His loving Atonement. I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is a strong, powerful, true, eternal concept. I know my Savior and Heavenly Father love me. I know that personally, in a very real and concrete way.

I have other beliefs that are less important, but that also define who I am:

I believe that this mortal life is one of learning, growing, helping, serving, and understanding.
I believe that life isn't supposed to be fair, easy, or clear. Even though that is so hard.
I believe that most people are all trying to be the best they can be based on what they are learning, understanding, growing in, and doing.
I believe that we cannot begin to know what others' lives are like, but that we can support each other along the way.
I believe that we NEED each other. We are an eternal family that needs to help each other in any way we can. Whether we live in Dubai, Chicago, or Lima.
I believe that one person with a big heart, willing hands, and a solid plan can make a positive difference for others.

I always feel like I have so many beliefs, personal principles, and core values that it is hard to summarize them all, but I think the one thing I believe most of all is:

"Charity changes everything."

Day 11--Favorite TV Shows

2010-12-07T19:26:00.000-07:00

It is kind of funny...I have never been a huge TV watcher, however there are a lot of shows I like and many that I love, mostly because I like them to be on in the background when I am doing other things (aka: grading papers) or working out.
I am going to list my all-time favs and the recent shows I have become a fan of.
All-Time Favorites:
Gilmore Girls (#1 Favorite!)
Gossip Girl (don't judge...I just love it)
Keeping Up with the Kardashians (okay, I know, more trash, but I like it!)
The Mary Tyler Moore Show (Love, Love, Love, this one!)
Undercover Boss (Not trashy at all...are you surprised? It is a fab.u.lous show)
Anything on the Food Network (esp. cake stuff)

Recent Favorites:
Modern Family (sooo funny!)
The Middle (makes me feel a little more normal)
House Hunters International (I just want to live everywhere but here...)

Day 10--Something I'm Afraid Of

2010-12-05T15:52:00.000-07:00

Fear is an interesting thing. It increases in some ways and decreases in other ways depending on your stage in life, the things that matter most to you at that time, and your age, and I'm sure a variety of other factors.
For me, fear is something that comes and goes a lot. I have many fears and anxieties, but there are a few that I think are pretty consistent.

*I'm kind of afraid of heights. Especially if there is any possible way that I am not safe while on that high place.
*I'm afraid of rodents and snakes. They fit in the same nasty category for me. Yuck!
*Being forgotten. That is a weird one, I know, but its a fear I've lived with all my life. When you move around and have to start a new life every few years of your life, its easy to be afraid that people will forget you, that you won't make any kind of imprint in their lives, or that your life was just a fleeting moment in the meaningful parts of others' lives.

Though my fears can tend to take over my life, I try to remember that faith is the antidote to fear. The more faith I have, the more I put my trust in a loving God, the less I have to fear about anything! Even snakes and mice and really tall rickety ferris wheels! And I especially don't have to fear that I will be forgotten when I remember that my Heavenly Father loves me and will always remember me. Without that knowledge, I might not be able to deal with these fears, nor the rest of the many fears that I harbor! Thank goodness for faith!!

Day 9-- First 10 Songs on my iPod

2010-12-04T23:05:00.000-07:00

1. Paint the Sky with Stars--Enya

2. I Will Come to You--Hanson

3. When I Look at You--Miley Cyrus

4.This Masquerade--The Carpenters

5. Through the Rain--Mariah Carey

6. Underappreciated--Christina Aguilera

7. Shine--Black Gold

8. Lullaby--Dixie Chicks

9. Photographs--Cherie Call

10. Everything--Michael Buble

Day 8--A Place You've Traveled To

2010-12-01T19:00:00.000-07:00

Travel.
The word is like love to me.
Travel.
Just that simple word makes me swoon and start to write lists.

I love to travel. I am a travel-aholic. Really. I am.
I would quit my job, my life, my apartment, my car, all of it, if I could travel to interesting places for the rest of my life. If only there were some way I could do that without having to worry about costs!!! Darn money!
Darn responsibility!

Anyway, the challenge was to post a place I have traveled to. Instead I am going to spin it a little and post pictures of my favorite ten places outside of the U.S and see if you can guess where I've traveled to! Good luck! :)

(Thanks google images!)

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Day 7--Favorite Movies

2010-11-29T22:43:00.001-07:00

Movies...well...I am a sucker for sappy movies and for chick flicks. I also love documentaries and movies based on true stories. I am actually a pretty picky movie watcher and I don't like to waste time on a movie that doesn't fit my bill. Here are some of my favorites:

"Anne of Green Gables and The Sequel." I seriously LOVE these movies. I could watch them a million times and never get sick of them. There is something so comforting about this story. I have loved the books since I was old enough to read them and the movies since before that. These are home. These are comfort and love for me.

"Miss Congeniality" is one of my favorite comedy/chick flicks. I love Sandra Bullock and I think this movie has some really clever lines. Plus, my sister and I have loved this movie together since we first saw it together.

"Life is Beautiful" is one of my all time favorites. It is so sad and so tragic, yet so telling and hopeful. I am a big fan of foreign films and love this one so much. If you haven't seen it, you really need to.

I love movies based on true stories, like I said before. "The Young Victoria" is one of the most impressive, romantic, beautiful, based-on-real-life fairy tale movies ever. I love Brits. And I love the royal family. Plus, this movie is amazing!

The gist of "27 Dresses" is pretty much the story of my life, so I happen to LOVE it. I think it is clever, well made, funny, and touching. I really love this one.

"You've Got Mail" has been a long time favorite. Probably because I adore anything with the Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks pair, but also because it is based on one of my favorite books of all time, "Pride and Prejudice," which also happens to be a fabulous movie, in all its forms! The Kiera Knightly version is one of my favorites, of the shorter versions.

I'm a sucker for "teacher movies" too. I just like the comraderie that comes from the stories like "Freedom Writers," "To Sir With Love," and "Mona Lisa Smile."

I grew up with musicals. I can't help but include them in my list because I love a good musical. There have been several lately that I have enjoyed. They have only added to the collection of great musical-movies out there. "Hairspray" and "Mamma Mia" are a couple of my most recent favorites.

Last, but not least, I love old movies. Black and white, technicolor, whatever. I like them. I love Mr. Grant and Ms. Hepburn. I love Danny Kaye, Rock Hudson, and Doris Day, Vivien Leigh, Gene Kelly, and Debbie Reynolds. I like all of them. "Charade," "That Touch of Mink," "Glass Bottom Boat," "Roman Holiday," "Pillow Talk," "The Court Jester," all of them. I love them all.

Day 6---A Song that Makes You Cry...or Nearly, and Why

2010-11-25T23:20:00.000-07:00

The video is a little goofy, but it was the best version of the song that I could find. This song makes me cry everytime I hear it, mostly because it hits so close to home. We all have challenges, trials, misktakes. I have too. The words in this song just touch my heart and remind me that hope isn't lost for any of us.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T16:22:00.000-07:00

I have so much to be grateful for:
A loving family, good friends, a great job, a warm home, lots of food, and everything in plenty.
I am so thankful for all that I have.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Invoice from an Online Order

2010-11-23T06:56:00.002-07:00

Invoice:

Dear Kim,

Your order has left our warehouse via magical flying ponies. We hope you like the socks we are sending your way and that we see you back soon!

-----------------

Funny note...when I got this email confirming that my order had "left the warehouse," I started laughing out loud. Of course I was still at work (there were even students there, but it was afterschool and they were just waiting for their carpools to come) and so the kids in my room wanted to know why I was laughing.

Always happy to share a good laugh, I read the email to them. They started at me with blank looks until one girl shouted, "How dare they! Don't they know anything?! Magical flying ponies are called 'Pegasuseseses.'"

Again, all I could do was laugh right out loud.

Kids are funny.

(thanks google images!)

Day 5--Pictures of Things That Make Me Happy

2010-11-21T20:21:00.000-07:00

My Portuguese Paradise.

My Josiah. In San Fransisco with me. Lifelong friends who will travel with me to the ends of the earth, just so we can spend time together exploring and reconnecting.

Whether we are in the Azores, Nashville, San Fransisco, Chicago, Tampa Bay or wherever, I love this kid.

Anything hippie. I love tie-dye, peace signs, smiley faces, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, saving the world, recycling, you name it. My hippie heart leaps for joy at these kinds of things.

The beach. Any beach really is like love for me, however I think some of my favorite beaches are in the Carolinas. This one is South Carolina. BE.A.U.TIFUL.

New York City. NYC with dear friends. NYC with dear friends who I have been so lucky to have in my life. NYC will never be the same without Kelissa.

Cami. The Eastern Idaho State Fair. Pigtails. Indian summer. All of the above.

Travling with best friends. (Are you noticing a theme?) I love these ladies. I also love celebrating birthdays while travling and visiting my favorite places. This would be a trip to Seattle. One of my most favorite places in all of the U.S.A. Seattle makes me VERY happy.

Hugging giant trees. See the comment above (the one about hippies).

REAL New Mexian Chile con queso. Oh. My. Yum. This could be the most wonderful food I've ever eaten in my life. If I had never experienced it, I might die of want. Since I have experienced it, nothing quite suffices anymore. My taste buds long for this delight every day of my life.

ISU. The Single Ladies. Growing up and still being friends. All these things make me very happy.

Experiencing life changing events, places, and people. Friends who will be friends forever because we share the bond of Honduras, education, Heifer, and the heart-touching experiences we had together. Because saving the world has to happen with all of us together. And saving the world is definitely something that I feel happy about.

Hiking. And summer weather (although this picture doesn't look very summery). I love to hike in the beautiful mountains that my Heavenly Father has created for me to enjoy. Something about being in the outdoors, on a mountainside, that makes me remember my divine heritage more than other places.

Leg warmers. One of the few things that I love about winter. Being warm.

(thanks google images!)

Shoes. Anyone who knows me knows that a new pair of shoes will always make my day. I love shoes in every color, every trend, every style. I just love them. There is seriously something exciting and refreshing about a new pair of shoes.

If I had a photo of my family, I would put it here. Being with my family and just enjoying each other's company is something that makes me happy...even though it rarely happens. Being with all the people who have made my life richer...that makes me happy. And there are a lot of people in this world who have made my life richer. Many of those people have taken me in as part of their families, and so, I feel that I have so many family photos that ought to go here also.

Happiness, for me, really is the simple stuff.
"Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed."

-Storm Jameson

Day 4--Something You Are Looking Forward To

2010-11-19T06:40:00.000-07:00

I feel like life has a lot to look forward to. It's just hard to think of specifics sometimes.
I think right now, the thing I am most looking forward to is finishing my reading endorsement. I have been going to classes one at a time for 2+ years now and I only have one more class and a test left. (This coming on the wings of having finished a class for the semester tonight!)
It seems like I have spent a lot of time and energy and money trying to get this endorsement and I think it has been a worthy endeavor. I have learned a lot, been to some amazing conferences, met a lot of great people, and made some good connections over the past few years. I'm glad I started this when I did...that way I can almost be done!!!

Day 3-Siblings and Family

2010-11-13T23:34:00.000-07:00

It has been ages since my siblings and family have all been together! I am not sure that I have an updated picture from anything more recent than the last 3 years! We are all spread out around the country and it is practically impossible to get us all in the same place at any given time! :)

My 5 sisters and I are all about as different as 6 people can be. We have a lot of similarities (as a matter of fact, somone just told me today that Julie and I have the exact same eyes...pretty sure we've heard that before!) but we tend to consider ourselves pretty different people (in more ways than one!). When you add us all up, we have a plethora of talents, interests, strengths, weaknesses, and personalities. We range from shy and timid to bold and independent. From creative to logical, dramatic to practical, and athletic to nerdy. Our chosen pathways in life are pretty varied, though we haven't all chosen them *exactly* yet.

Sisters are a weird and wonderful part of life. There are some times I can't imagine NOT having my sisters to share with, but there are other times when a girl needs to be independent from her sisters! But, overall sisters make life a lot of fun!

I remember always having mixed feelings about having so many sisters, but one of my favorite things growing up was knowing that no matter how many times we moved, no matter how many schools we were in, no matter how often we started over again, we always had each other. Even as teens, when we practically hated each other, we always knew we had each other to despise! I will always be grateful to my sisters for who they have taught me to become!

Day 2

2010-11-12T00:25:00.000-07:00

Day 2--Something That Stresses You Out

Geez. This is an easy one, unless I have to just pick one thing.
In that case I will have problems with this part of the challenge!
It seems like everything in my life stresses me out!
Seriously...I have anxiety about everything these days!
I think if I had to pick just one thing, I would probably say: my future.
I can't control it, and that is why it stresses me out.
It is vast and unreachable to my mind. So, it stresses me out.
It encompasses pretty much everything that affects my life now, which stresses me out.

Yes. I am aware that I sound like I need a therapist.

But, the question was posed, so I had to answer.

15 Day Challenge...I've Got a Lot of Challenges Going On Here!

2010-11-09T21:53:00.001-07:00

I'm totally stealing this post idea because I think it sounds fun!
I usually like to avoid these kinds of things, but a friend of mine, and colleague, is doing this on her blog because of someone else, and I thought...I need something to write about and I like this idea!
So here I am.

The 15 Day Challenge:

Day 1-Self portrait picture, and 15 interesting facts

Day 2- Something that stresses you out

Day 3-Your siblings and parents

Day 4- Something you're looking forward to

Day 5- pictures of things that make you happy

Day 6 — A song that makes you cry {or nearly and why}

Day 7-Favorite movies

Day 8-A place you've traveled to

Day 9- Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs

Day 10-Something you're afraid of

Day 11-Favorite tv shows

Day 12-What you believe

Day 13-Goals

Day 14-Some pictures you love

Day 15- pictures of your Dream house

Okay then...here goes. Self portrait and 15 interesting facts about me:

(Okay, so this is a silly picture from Halloween but I thought I could bend the rules a little so that I could kill two birds with one stone. I promised I would post Halloween pics as soon as I found them!)

1. I was born with an extra thumb. Most of the people reading this already know that, but its still an interesting fact about me. So it counts!

2. I am a city girl at heart...down to my very instincts and directional sense (I can't find my way around suburbs or boondocks for the life of me, but I can get anywhere in a city when on foot or using public transit!)...but...I think small town life is romantic.

3. I hate when people start Christmas before Thanksgiving. C'mon people! Give Thanksgiving its proper place in the season!!! Plus I like fall to last as long as possible and Thanksgiving should still be fall in my book!

4. I have almost drowned in the Atlantic (yeah...it SOUNDS romantic), been hit by a car (as a pedestrian), and fallen down a hill into traffic. Someone upstairs has really had to work hard to keep on saving this life of mine!

5. I like to bake. A lot. My dad taught me most of what I know when it comes to baking. I used to decorate cakes for a "living." It was a lot of fun and an era of my life that I hope to revisit if I ever had time again.

6. I have worked in a lot of random jobs. I have been a babysitter, secretary, administrative assistant for the USAF, afterschool program teacher, college writing, philosophy, and speech tutor, head baker for a catering company, camp counselor and cooking instructor, university program coordinator/assistant, nanny, proof reader, teacher, and many others. Sometimes (like now) I can't even remember all the strange jobs I've had as an adult!

7. With my parents help, I bought a house when I was in college. I love that little house! It was a really interesting decision and a great investment for my adult-growing-up endeavors.

8. I have lived in a huge variety of places. I have also visited a huge variety of places. I LOVE traveling. The desire to travel courses through my veins and pulls me to the ends of the earth. I don't know if I could continue to exist without consistent traveling!

9. I am a hard egg to crack. I just mean that I put up a pretty thick and solid wall initially, but once people get past that wall, I am nothing like the reserved, quiet, shy, nervous person I seem to be when you first meet me.

10. I have been proposed to a few times. Don't worry...none of the proposals were viable prospects. Once I was offered the position as the first wife of an Afghan man who loved me because I helped him write his college papers for 4 years. He even wrote me a proposal and love note in Farsi.

11. I love cupcakes. I love to eat them, collect them, wear them, draw them, and be called them.

12. Teaching is my calling in life, though some days I have no idea why!

13. I am a beach girl through and through. I could lounge around on a beach for days on end and never get enough. I love the sounds of the ocean, the smell of the salty sea, and the feeling of sand between my toes. I love the beach. Enough said.

14. Sometimes my eyes are bright green. Especially when I have been crying or have been in the sun for a while. Usually they are brown.

15. I love to watch movies that make me cry. I don't know why, but I find something wonderful about movies that touch me so much that they evoke that kind of emotion. If I am choosing the movie, you probably ought to grab a box of tissues!

So there you are. 15 random facts about me and a Halloween picture! I will be here again soon to continue working on the challenge!

2010-11-06T09:19:00.001-06:00

Wow! Where did the week go?

I have been crazy busy these past several days...Parent Teacher Conferences, Professional Development training, trying to stick to my workout regime, grad school projects, and teaching on top of all of it!

I hardly know how November got here! It feels like October should still be in full swing. Especially because we only had snow for a couple of days and now it is back to lovely autumn weather! (Which I LOVE--don't get me wrong!)

I had a fun Halloween with friends...I was an awesome looking rock star/biker chick. If I can find my photos I will post them soon.

I have been doing a lot of work getting some information together for a local newspaper that is going to do a story on the Study Tour I went on this summer. I am incredibly excited to share my story and the story of all those wonderful Honduran people! I feel so lucky to have had the chance to go and experience all that I did. It makes me think so differently about the blessings that I already have!

I have been doing my workouts pretty regularly...until this week when the whole world turned upside down schedule-wise...but I have lost about 4 pounds and that is nice to see. I just have to keep working hard. It has been good to be motivated to exercise again. I remember how much I enjoy it!

I caught some little cold/flu germ from my students...or my roommates...or someone. I don't know who gave it to me but the aforementioned could all be possible suspects. I am hoping to rest up this weekend so that I can get back to work on Monday in full-force!

Here's to lying in bed doing school projects and grading papers. (While watching movies of course!!)
Oh, and speaking of watching...have you seen the show "The Middle" on abc? It is a new favorite of mine...pretty funny!

Fun in the Sun...or Moon. One of the stupidest things I've ever done.

2010-10-28T06:43:00.001-06:00

Last weekend I went with 2 of the Single Ladies down to Cedar City, UT to have a vacation from life. It was my fall break for school and so they came down from Idaho to vacation with me.

Initially we planned to go down, chill in the hotel, and do a little hiking. The plan was not really a plan, because we wanted to take it slowly and just enjoy having a break.

We decided to hit Cedar Breaks National Monument on the first day out, since it is so close to the city, and then do some more serious hiking the next day. Cedar Breaks was really neat, though we couldn't even do a little hike because there was so much mud. There was even snow up there! We couldn't believe the snow on the ground!

That night we went for a little walk around the town and had some dinner. The evening was calm and relaxing and Cami and I even dyed our hair.

The next day we had decided to get massages. We scheduled them as early as we could (11 a.m.--nice time for a vacation massage if you ask me!) and slept in. We went to the massage thearpy school down there, and it was a good experience. I enjoyed my massage a lot! The girl kept asking me how long it had been since I had gotten a massage. In truth, it has been way too long if you ask me!

After our massages we had planned to take a hike up to the Kolob Arch. We had read that it is a "strenuous" hike, but we figured it would be fine. We paid the fee at Zion's and got up to the trailhead. As we started out, around 1:15 p.m. we realized that we had only brought about 1 liter of water per person. They say you should bring a gallon per person per day. We just shrugged it off and continued on our way.

After a few hours of hiking through the red rock and desert, we were pretty tired. It was a BEAUTIFUL hike, but one we were clearly not prepared for. But, we had begun the journey and we didn't want to hike back yet.

We finally got to a point, about 4 hours in, where we were supposed to be able to see the arches. Of course, we had no idea where they were. We had followed the trail as far as we could and hit a stream. There was nowhere to go and no arches to be seen. We knew that continuing on meant we should have packed tents and stoves for an overnight hike, as we had seen several people hiking out with, and so we decided to make the most of our destination spot and turn around. We were disappointed, but a soon-to-be frantic desire to get out before dark was more pressing.

2 hours later, as it started to get really dark and spooky, we were to a point of exhaustion, dehydration, and frustration. Luckily I had packed a flashlight so we were able to at least find the path in the dark. We knew we had no choice but to trudge on, though none of us really felt too excited about the prospect. There was a lot of pain, crying, praying, and hoping in those last 2 hours. (I was praying a lot more after Cami told me the brochure included lovely photos of the mountain lions that inhabit the area...)

Finally, after some answered prayers, some hard and painful work, and a few minor injuries, we saw the car glinting in the moonlight. Talk about renewed adrenaline! It was all I could do to keep from hugging my car and bawling. We had made it!

The customers at Applebees were none too impressed to see three girls, covered in red dirt, limping, and tear-stained, sit down at a booth. We drank (and spilled) close to 3 pitchers of water because we were so thirsty! Natalie was hilarious as she had little to no control over anything her brain was making her say. Cami and I got some good laughs at Natalie's exhausted expense. We were just glad to be alive and safe.

It was so nice to finally hit the shower and lay down our tired feet and bodies that night. In the end, I'm pretty sure starting a 14.5 mile hike at 1:00 p.m. with little to no provisisons in the middle of a national desert, was one of the stupidest choices I have ever made. But, I can't say I regret it either.

My 2 seconds of fame

2010-10-20T09:29:00.002-06:00

Edit: Sorry...the video wasn't showing up earlier...now it is. Try to enjoy while I cringe!

I'm not the type to appreciate attention. I kind of prefer to stay under the radar. So when I volunteered to help out with and eagle scout project to reseed the mountains that were burned in the Herriman fire last month, I never expected this. Yikes! I'll cover my eyes and you can watch it if you want to.

29 Day Fitness Challenge

2010-10-18T22:17:00.000-06:00

A good friend of mine told me about a "29 Day Fitness Challenge" that her personal trainer was offering.
I decided it was high time I kicked my ever-growing booty into gear and try it.
Its cheap, well-planned out, and looks like a good idea.

Until I realized what kind of life I live.
12 hour work days, days of being on my feet and responding to "teacher teacher!" all day long, don't really generate a desire to do hardcore exercise 6 days a week.

I still signed myself up. Against all odds, I started the program today.
In my heart of hearts (the one that's threatened by layers of unhealthy body fat) I know how badly I need this motivation to get my body back into a healthier place.

I just hope I feel motivated in 12 more days.

Falling and Breaking

2010-10-12T22:11:00.000-06:00

I am so incredibly excited for Fall Break this weekend.
I am so incredibly tired and ready for a breather.

Anxiety had sort of left my life for a little while. That's what Summer helped me with.
Its back and rearing its ugly head.

Sometimes I just need three square feet of my own space and two minutes to think quietly.
I like my job. I do. No, I really do.
I just need to find my groove and feel like I have dug in for the duration.

Right now I am feeling a little more like my toes are sticking in the mud but I haven't committed to the full bath.
Once I decide to jump in all the way, I will love the mud bath. I just have to get to that point.

I can do it. I know I can.
Or at least, I sure hope so, because if not, it is going to be a loooonnnnggg 8 months!

Success. By: Me.

2010-10-09T23:49:00.000-06:00

Success is more than a reward. Success is earning that reward.
Success is more than doing something...it is doing something you care about.
Success is not how others see you. Success is how you see yourself.
Success is not attaining a status...it is finding out who you are.

Lately I have had some experiences with success. My successes have had little to do with anything anyone else would probably find important, but they are successful experiences for me. Sometimes I think I get too caught up in what the world sees as success, when really, I have my own important moments of feeling successful every so often. Those moments just seem to be so small when I compare them to the Oprahs, the Juila Roberts, and the Marie Curies of this world.

Nonetheless, I am grateful for my own special moments of success:
The little moments when a child tells me I am her "favorite person in the whole world!" and then her mom tells me the same thing for herself.
The times when my friends feel close enough to me to share their thoughts and feelings. The times when they can really be open and honest and we "connect."
The times when I get a perfect score on my graduate papers...after spending 3 years with second graders' writing, I feel accomplished that I can remember how to spell or write anything!
The times when I feel appreciated and recognized for the work I do everyday, without recognition.
The split seconds when I see the glimmers of success others have felt, in tiny part, because I have been a part of their lives.

For me, success is more than tangible, recognizable events or rewards. Sucess is definitely the way I feel and the way I move forward in life. Success is being who I want to be, doing what I need to do, and living how I believe I should live, and being happy about it.

Bigness Here

2010-10-06T07:02:00.000-06:00

When an experience changes your life, its pretty hard not to share it with everyone you know.

Recently, this write-up was featured on the heifer blog.

Please read it, and share in my love for these amazing people and their struggles through this world.

They have touched my heart, added something I never knew I was missing, and created bigness in my mind and heart.

Fall, Ball, Call...My life likes to rhyme.

2010-10-04T23:29:00.000-06:00

Oh how I adore fall!
There is something so wonderful about warm, sunny days and crisp cool nights!
I love walking to my car in the morning and feeling a little chill in the air, but not too cold.
I love playing outside with the kids with the warm sunshine hitting my cheeks.
I love the fall sports...my softball season coming to an end, my favorite football teams gearing up.
I just love fall.
The only thing I think fall could do to improve itself would be to last a lot longer!!!
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I recently got a call from a dear friend of mine. I wish those calls were closer together. It is such a blessing to have friends all over the world (especially for someone who likes to travel cheap!) but it can also be sort of disheartening when I just want to be with those people without the trouble of plane rides or road trips.
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One of my students called me a doofus the other day. It was seriously hilarious! I told him he couldn't call me that, and well, he wasn't too impressed. Its a good thing he is funny or I might have had to be a little peeved! :) Haha!
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Today I am feeling the sweet relief of a bit of vindication.
Have you ever had anyone look at your life, your job, or your situation and just think it is so much easier than you feel it is?
Well, I've been struggling with that for a while now. And I'm not so much anymore.
I'm grateful that I'm not the only one who knows how tough things can get in my situation.
I like feeling that way.

Finding my way...after learning how to blink again.

2010-10-01T22:50:00.000-06:00

Have you ever just had a week where you can hardly take time to blink, let alone post a blog!?
Well, that's been my week!
It has been one thing after another...and another...and another...and another.

Once upon a time I dreamed that I might not have to work 14 hour days during my THIRD year of teaching...I wonder what happened to that fairy tale...?

Oh well, I didn't need my sanity anyway.

On another note, I am finally starting to feel like the fun factor in my classroom is getting pretty normal. I am feeling like things are running more naturally these days when I am teaching. It feels nice to feel like I can just get up and teach the things my kids need to know without feeling stuck in a box.

And I've done the "stuck in a box" thing before. Litearlly. One time it was a box made of masking tape on the floor of my classroom.

I have also started to feel like I am being the kind of teacher that I really want to be, without feeling the judgement of anyone else. I feel like I am starting to find myself as a teacher again.

Funny Funny Funny

2010-09-22T20:25:00.000-06:00

So kids say funny things.
I could leave it at that, but then you wouldn't be able to laugh with me.
Or at me.
Whatever the case may be.

The other day, one of my dear students came up to me and VERY solemnly explained a few things to me. I'm actually so glad she did. I mean, I have really been missing out all these years!

Here's how the coversation played out:

Student: Miss Andersen...?
Me: Hey kiddo! What's up?
Student: Well, I just wanted to tell you something...
Me: Okay, shoot.
Student: (looking very deeply into my emotions, I'm sure) Did you know that there is this website...
Me: (Prompting her as I realize that she keeps trailing off with every comment she makes) A website, yes? I'm listening.
Student: Well, there is this website where, where, where you can go on it and pick out things you like, and people you want to go on dates with.
Me: Uh hu...you don't go on those websites do you?
Student: Well no! I'm only seven!
Me: I'm so glad because you ARE only seven!
Student: (leaning close to whisper) I meant it for YOU Miss Andersen!
Me: Oh! I see! (Of course I saw.)
Student: I don't really like people who aren't married.
Me: That's too bad...so what do you think I should do?
Student: Well, I don't know. I just feel bad for people who aren't married.
Me: Well don't you worry. I am doing just fine my friend!
Student: Hmmm...well, don't you at least think you ought to try it? I mean, do you even have a boyfriend?
Me: (slyly) Maybe, but I'm sure not telling you! :)
Student: (crinkling up her nose) Awww fine!

Hahaha! Really? My mother, people who knew me 10 years ago, my mother, my mother's friends, my own friends, my mother, and my colleagues aren't enough? Now my students think they have to set me up too! I'm so glad my student put me on the right track...now I can get moving with my love life on one of those dating website thingys. :)

Wildfires, Weekends, and Wonders

2010-09-20T16:33:00.001-06:00

Oh my! What a weekend!!!
I think this one could be one of the most exciting of my life...in a weird way!

The weekend started out fun. My friend came down and helped me get caught up on my grading and my prep work for school. Its always nice to have someone who is so willing to help me out! (Thanks Nat!) I always feel bad for people who are friends with teachers because they always seem to have to do so much work that they never knew they were getting into!

We spent most of the weekend just playing. I got my hair cut (I chopped it! More on that another day...), w met up with another friend of ours (one of the Single Ladies) and had dinner downtown. It was fun to get together and spend some time just having a night out with the girls.

Sunday we went to a mission homecoming for my friend's cousin (the REAL reason she came down-haha!).

Later Sunday night I had Julie, Caitlin, and Bradford over for dinner. I made one of my favorite meals (next to yellow tofu curry) which is broccoli tofu stir fry! Yum!!! I also made a fresh fruit salad and brown butter chocolate chip cookies with gelato for dessert. It was tasty...if I do say so myself! We also played a fun game called "You've Been Sentenced!" which was fun since we don't play games too often.

As they were leaving to go home, we noticed that the wildfire we had seen earlier in the evening had spread drastically across the ridgeline of the mountain next to my house. My school happens to be at the eastern most base of that very mountain and my apartment complex is directly below that. It was absolutely the craziest thing I have ever seen! The winds out here are always bad, but they were 10 times worse than normal yesterday. Just the right conditions for a wildfire to spread.

The fire literally spread so quickly it looked like a volcano was erupting firery lava down the moutainside. Most of Herriman was evacuated on this side of the main road and a few homes were lost. It was 100% a miracle that more homes were not destroyed or damaged.

I was pretty concerned about my school, especially considering I was in potential danger of losing my home AND my job in one fell swoop, but things are looking better today. I wasn't officially evacuated from my apartment, but I decided to leave around 9:00 pm since my roommates had both evacuated and the news was declaring that anyone who could see flames ought to plan to evacuate. I just decided to leave so that I would feel better about the whole situation. After a panicked call to my dad and a pleading call to my friend's parents, I headed to their house to stay the night.

I am so grateful today for the people who were so prepared in this city to handle a situation like this. I am so grateful for people in my life who would so willingly open their arms and homes to let a semi-refugee in! I am so grateful that my school is safe and that I didn't lose everything I have.

I am so grateful to be home today. Grateful that this is winding down. Grateful to be safe. Grateful for answered prayers. Grateful for everything!

Tuesday Confession

2010-09-13T22:14:00.000-06:00

I only play these day of the week games when I feel like I really have something to contribute, OR if I just feel like I have something that fits the bill. Today, I have a confession...this one is BIG for me...

I haven't cut my hair since January!

I REALLY REALLY need a haircut and I really want a change, but I hate it when I chop my hair off for a change and then end up waiting several months to grow it back out. Buuuut...I loved it last fall when I cut it short-ish. Maybe I should go that way again?

Any thoughts?

Amazing Grace

2010-09-09T21:02:00.001-06:00

Just when I think the whole world might crash down around me, someone always surfaces to lift me up, carry me, and push me along through the things that pull me under.

My prayers always seem to be answered by some genuine soul who steps into my life at just the right time.

I am so incredibly grateful for the people who have such deep compassion and charity in their hearts toward me. I am so much more blessed than I often realize.

Its amazing that we are never handed any trials that we truly can't handle. We are never given any obstacle that we truly can't overcome. At least with help. Because no one ever said we had to make it through this life alone.

And how my heart bursts with gratitude for that fact.

So to all of you out there who have ever smiled, called, dropped a note, reassured me, comforted me, helped me with some project or another, given me a hug, sat and cried with me, or the numerous other acts that I have been recipient of,

Thank you.