Who Do You Think You Are?

"Human identity is the most fragile thing that we have, and it's often only found in moments of truth." --Alan Rudolph



^Seriously? Who do you think you are?

Have you ever asked yourself that question?
Have you ever stopped and really thought about the answer?

For so much of our lives we struggle along trying to discover our own identities, trying to determine our destiny, trying to become someone we know we are. 

And yet, we are someone different to every person.

We are, essentially, what others believe us to be.

To my parents, I am their second-born.  Their independent, out-spoken, responsible, politically incorrect, academic, stubborn, driven, hard-headed, argumentative, dreaming, second-born.

To my colleagues, I am an educator.  I am an ambitious, creative, opinionated, hard-working, knowledgeable, serious, focused, acheiving, out-going, educator.

To my close friends, I am a confidant.  I am a logical, reserved, adventurous, tender-hearted, straightforward, experienced, laughing, cultured, goofy, giggly, confidant.

To every person, I am someone different.  

So who do I think I am?

In every way, I get to decide who I think I am.  But that does not get to determine who other people think I am.  Reconciling the two things is a nearly impossible challenge. 

Our own contrived identity is a fragile and vulnerable thing.  We may see ourselves so differently than others see us.  We may feel that the labels we have are really our most sensitive projections of ourselves.  We may even divulge these labels and vulnerabilities in an attempt to identify with ourselves.   

Whether others find us beautiful, ugly, boring, fat, captivating, loud, boring, shy, friendly, flawless, arrogant, or good, doesn't really matter to our souls.  It may matter to us now.  It may be who we are to another human being, but it doesn't really matter to our souls.  Its like the old playground verse: "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words [labels] will never hurt me."   In this case, labels will neither hurt, nor help me understand my soul if they are all I hear. 

I'd like to believe that the labels are not really who I am, but rather, part of what my soul believes I have always been. I'd like to believe that deep down inside my life, I am really a soul who is struggling to be the best I can in this mortal experience, no matter the labels I earn and receive. In the end, only one identity really matters: the identity of our own soul.


So again I ask, who do you think you are?