Through it all...

Anyone acquainted with my situation at school this year would probably tell you that I am good at complaining about it.  That is definitely a regret I have, mostly because of a few different things:

1. Everyone has been extremely helpful and concerned for me
2. The kindness and service people have offered me has been outstanding
3. I've learned a lot throughout these lovely trials.

Its easy to spout off about cliches and "morals" people can learn, but its not as easy to live them.  Sometimes throughout this stressful school year I have thought "Gosh, I wish I could just take this in stride like everyone seems to think I should."  However, that is much easier to say if you aren't dealing with the negative affects of a situation. 

My situation has been, shall we say, a loss of privilege. 
I haven't had to deal with too many truly awful things. 
Instead, I have been dealing with the absence of a resource that is particularly useful, and that all the others at my school get to have.

I say it is a loss of privilege because in other schools, this resource is often non-existant anyway.  However, at my school, it is one of the benefits and is a huge help in meeting the high expectations held for teachers. 

I can't say I have felt "oh-well-this-is-just-a-lucky-benefit" much throughout this year, mostly because with this resource we are held to a very high standard.  Having that extra privilege gives us the only real advantage in being able to achieve that expectation. 

Through it all, I haven't had the best of attitudes, but I am certainly grateful for the things I have learned.   I am truly humbled by the number of people who have genuinely shown concern for me and my daily situation.  I am overwhelmed by the sheer amount of strangers and acquaintances at work who have offered so much of their time and service to help me.  I am forever grateful for the strength, flexibility, and change in perspective I have gained through all of this. 

I can't believe I am saying it, but this loss in my life has been an incredible learning experience. 

Now, I am happy to have learned what I have learned and I would be more than happy for this trying time to end! ;)  That's how it works, right?