Dear Anything-But-Now-Year Old Me

Have you see that PSA about cancer?

Well, it has nothing to do with this post except that it was the only title I could come up with for what I do have to say today.  It has a great message though, so watch it sometime.

Lately I have been feeling...old. 

Old, boring, unfashionable, un-fun, stuck, lost.

A little.

I don't know why...maybe hanging out with my younger sisters, reading fashion magazines, or listening to the radio...but I feel this way.

When did I get too old for the crazy fashions like boots folded over with leg warmers and grunge hair?

When did I get too boring for spur-of-the-moment ideas like bowling at 2 am?

When did I get so un-fun that the kids just younger than me see me as an old maid?

When did I lose my adventuresome, high-spirited, zest for trying new things?

And when did I begin to realize that I am stuck in a life I didn't exactly choose, nor do I exactly want?

Hrummpff.

I think if I could do things over again, I would choose to grow up a little more slowly.  I think I'd bask in having to depend on my parents for rides.  I'd spend my money a little more frivolously on new CDs or shoes. I'd definitely spend more time in college and I'd even probably relish the chances I had to party at 3 am with strangers.  

Okay, well that last one still happens at my house about once a month, but still.

I want to feel young and crazy again.  

I'm not really so old.  Just sorta out of touch. 

And a little old. 

I am beginning to understand why people seek the fountain of youth.