Good to be warm...

For those of you who read my blog and know that I am a snow scrooge, well, right now I am in a happy heaven.

No, I'm not at the beach.

No, I'm not in an exotic location.

But I AM wearing a short-sleeve shirt and NO COAT AT ALL!

I am just at home. In Kentucky.

Where it was approximately 70 degrees warm today.

Oh how I love being home!

Home for Christmas

I'll be home for Christmas...

You can count on me.

Please leave the snow behind me.

But let there be a tree.

I can't wait for cheeseburgers, Danish pastries, and bread.

Christmas Eve will find me,

flying on a plane.

But that's no reason not to go

Home sweet home for the holidays.

Merry Christmas!!!

So ready...

Ahhhh...

To be free!

It feels so good to be done with school for the year. I mean, the actual year of 2008.

Since a teacher's year doesn't actually end until the summer (mine in June), its not OVER per se, it still feels nice to be able to say that I made it this far.

Plus, I get two whole weeks to myself...sorta.

Since a teacher's job lives in her mind and heart ALWAYS, I don't exactly get to be free, but like my wise father says, "you gotta take any 'wahoo!' moments whenever you can get them!"

I'm so happy to have a break from the daily grind. I love my job, but sometimes, it starts to feel a bit wearysome.

Plus, I get to go home. To my family.

I know...sometimes "home" gets a bit confusing with me.

Every year of my life since I was 4 I have been in school of some kind. Pre-school, Elementary school, Jr.High/Middle School, High School, College...and now, as a teacher.

Every Christmas break has always been anticipated with excitement and relief. However, there is something SOOOOO different about being on this side of things. I am more excited for Christmas break than I ever have been. And my heart feels it. I can't even describe the anticipation and happiness I am feeling about this break.

So, I'll take dear old daddy's advice:

"WAHOO!!!"

This is the story of us all...

This is how I am feeling right now. Such a good song that reminds me so much of my life in recent years...I know it seems juvenille, but truly, this is it. (I like this particular youtube video just because I like Gilmore Girls so much...not because it reflects me or Nat at all)

One of my favorite people in all the world rejoins us tomorrow from her long sojourn in the Pacific. What an amazing blessing she has been to all of us, even as she has been gone these 18 months. Oh how I have missed her!

Tomorrow is the day...she's on an airplane now, just waiting to return to her old life. I hope its an easy transition for her, back to the people who have always loved her. I am so proud of her! Welcome home girl!

Whiteout anyone?

All those cutesy songs about fluffy, white, beautiful snow?

Yeah right.

You won't hear me singing permission for the clouds to pour out their fluff.

It is lethal stuff, and I don't do lethal.

I really am trying here people, but honestly?

I don't...no, I can't...like the snow.

Its just not in me.

All it does is cause havoc and tension within me.

I can't leave my house, I can't drive my car, I can't wear my flip-flops, I can't move my fingers or toes, and I can't feel my face when it snows.

It breeds coldness and inversions. I start to feel a bit crowded in, almost, claustrophobic.

I'd rather have sun.

I just don't like it.

There.

Now you know. I am a snow scrooge.

Memories and changes...

I'm a hopeless nostalgic.

(I don't know if that has ever been used as a noun before, but now it has.)

When big life changes, events, or new life seasons come around--as the always do--my coping method is to remember (after all the crying and stubbornness is over). I have a pretty impeccable memory too. At least when it comes to this kind of stuff. I don't always remember from day to day which one of my students' journals I was supposed to read, or what I had for lunch, or where I put my pen, but I can remember the nostalgic stuff.

Often, the nostaliga comes in waves. It usually makes me feel sad, then happy and grateful, then frustrated and jealous, then motivated.

When something pushes me into a mood like this, I start to think about life experiences I have had, people I have known, and things that have "shaped" me and I feel so sad for myself. Yup. I feel sad. I feel sad about how I had to learn a lesson, how it had to end, and how I grew from it. Then, I feel happy and grateful for my life. I feel so glad that I have been blessed to have such amazing experiences. I feel happy that I have so many good memories in my back pocket.

Then, inevitably, I get jealous and long for the "past" me. I become frustrated with the person I am, the person I have not managed to become, and the person who I used to be. I become immensely jealous of my own past, wishing I could be that or do that or see that again. Then I become jealous of others and their experiences. I long to be someone else...I long for change. I cry for a different life and new experiences. Anything other than the status quo I currently live.

After all that, I become super motivated to change my life so that it is what I want it to be. Usually this results in good and happy things, but sometimes it brings me back to my knees instress, worry, and humility. Then as always, something else happens that gives me reason to feel nostalgic.

Its a vicious cycle, yet somehow it keeps me accountable. I stay accountable for my life and my decisions. I am constantly reflecting, evaluating, analyzing, and qualifying my life and its events.

What about you? Are you as nostalgic too?

Heedless definers

What do you say to a student who blows you out of the water?

Sometimes, my students completely shock my socks off.

Today, as we were reading "Mrs. Piggle Wiggle" we were talking about the word "heedless." There is a story about the "Heedless Breaker Cure" and so I was defining the word with them. After a few guesses as to what "heedless" means--you know, the standard vocabulary conversation where someone says something to the effect of, "someone who breaks stuff," or "not thinking too much about what you do," kinds of answers--I gave a brief formal definition of the word.

One of fmy students popped his head up from being nestled in his arms and boldly and matter-of-factly (also kind of sarcastically) stated, "Duh Miss Andersen. Heedless means the opposite of situational awareness."

My jaw all but dropped.

What do you even say to that?

Mind-boggling...

I've posted about this before.

I think its totally strange and completely illogical, but I feel weird admitting it.

I am an adult.

Not only am I an adult, but other people see me as one.

And, I am a teacher.

As a teacher, I will never be anything else.

As an adult teacher, I am held to some kind of standard, even when I'm "off duty."

That's because I'm never "off duty."

I can't go anywhere in sweats, make-up-less, or a baseball hat, because its not what a teacher "does."

Its so weird to "be" something like that.

I guess I am an adult.

And I am a teacher.

Its just that I'm not so used to being defined by my career, instead of my age or personality, or something.

If you are a teacher, this makes sense.

If not, well, then this might not make sense.

But its the truth.